After returning from a two week north woods men's vacation, Scott was amazed and I think a little impressed that the boys went through a box of 63 corn dogs. WHAT??? I knew Gavin has some serious dietary curiosities, but 63 corn dogs in two weeks? I was appalled.
Upon their return, we had to buy a box of 16 because I knew sudden withdrawal might lead to serious side effects. I see this in the ICU with alcoholics and illicit drug abusers. We have no choice but to tie and drug them to get them through withdrawals. I don't own any pediatric restraints so I decided a step down approach was most appropriate.
With each corn dog I made, in the microwave of course, I was more disgusted. Toxic radioactive snack on a treated wooden stick activated by the microwave's free radical producing waves. OK, so in reality, maybe not going to kill the kids, but really bad when that's all they're eating.
So here goes. I have been detoxing my family over the last two weeks. We've come along way, but we still have an epic journey ahead of us. I made up a few guidelines to start us down the right path.
Week One:
Every meal will be eaten at the kitchen table at a meal time
The kitchen will be closed in between meals
You will eat what is served
I always make sure you like some part of the meal
You will not cry just because I put something on your plate that you hate or are scared of
NO CORN DOGS!
With just these few rules, some amazing things happened. I think we've sung grace about 60 times in the last few weeks. I haven't found anything moldy under the sofa and anything sticky on the end table. Scott and I are eating less (more mindful I guess) and the boys are all eating more. The quality of the food we're eating has went waaaaaay up. I think it might be a pride thing. No mom wants to prepare, cook, set the table, call the family and then have some lame disappointing processed meal to present. We've also had some very interesting real family conversations.
Week Two Guidelines:
Every meal will have at least 2 servings of fruits and vegetables
Everyone will try everything on their plates
Everyone will clear their own dishes and clean up their own spots
Even more amazing things happened the second week. Gavin's list of foods he'll eat has doubled. New foods that he actually likes include Cheeseburgers (not super healthy I know, but this boy has never ate beef in all of his 8 years of life), cauliflower and kiwi fruit. The list of foods he'll tolerate is even bigger. I think now I could even put a dead rat on his plate and he would just eat around it without having a complete meltdown. A variation of this may actually make a fun practical joke. I'm spending a lot more time in the kitchen, which is probably one of the most wholesome places to spend time as a mom. People are even clearing their own spots occasionally without me asking. Yay family!
Week Three starts next week. If they feel challenged now, it's gonna get way tougher. I found something that's called "clean" eating. In a nutshell (you can probably eat nutshells while eating clean) it eliminates all processed, empty calorie, fast, junkie, microwave fun kid type foods. So tons of fruits and veggies, lots of lean cuts of meat, eggs and whole grains. Think food 50 years ago, eating everything the way it occurs in nature. Baked potatoes, not potato chips, fresh tomato, not ketchup. You get the idea. We already buy pretty much all our produce and dairy organic and that will continue. We're supposed to focus on local produce. This means the garden needs to go into overdrive. I continue to research clean eating recipes and have started cooking some of them. Last night we had green cauliflower (some kind of broccoli/cauliflower combo), fresh green beans and chicken kiev. I normally buy the kievs frozen, but last night we made our own. Consequently, my new fav kitchen gadget is the mallet. Why haven't I ever owned one of these before?
New guidelines for week three are hopefully going to include some of the following:
No negotiating before the food even reaches the table
Older children need to set a good example, no "I hate fill in the blank" statements
No sugar (I say this as I take the last drink of the last can of Mountain Dew)
No white flour (gulp), we already use whole wheat pasta, but clean is a whole new level
Next week the kids go back to daycare and I go back to school so that could get interesting. The usual Lunchables aren't gonna fly anymore. Some of the clean eating blogs mention having a free meal every week. I've decided that Friday nights will be free. I'm already thinking about what cheat foods we might feast on.
So out with some of the old habits and in with some new ones. I worry that next week with school things will get overwhelming and I will be tempted to revert to our quick cooking snacky ways, but I hope that blogging will hold me a little more accountable. You'll hear next week the good, bad and even the ugly. Hopefully more good than ugly.
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