chairs

my favorite way to end the day is sitting in a chair on the front porch with my best friend, whom I'm conveniently married to.  i like it most when the boys are running around as the breeze picks up and the sun dies down.  when we moved to our new (very old) house, the chairs that once sat on my front porch moved to the backyard.  i have no front porch now.  so enjoyable evenings watching the boys gallivant around were no more and i was sad.  i started watching for new chairs for the front yard.  with no front porch to speak of the new chairs would need to sit in the grass.  i wanted Adirondack chairs but did not want to spend $80 on them and i was not a fan of the plastic ones.  so i watched and waited.  then last week, i finally found the perfect chairs, cheap, wooden and super comfy.  we purchased two.

 

  

 

petey spent some time sitting in my best friend’s chair while he watched him put mine together.  i love color and knew i wanted them to be bright.  so naturally…

 

 

my best friend brought me to home depot and i picked out some paint… 

 

 

some yellow paint.  yellow was the winning color. 

 

 

and so it began.  we painted together.  i always love the first stroke of any painting project, but by the 20th, i’m done.  luckily, my best friend is persistent and a bit of a workaholic.

 

 

my best friend painted the big areas and i painted the little areas and my forearm and my right foot.  my best friend painted in a pair of good jogging shorts like he always does and ruined yet another pair.  grrrrrrrr…..  but alas we were done. 

 

fast forward a day or two and it was saturday night.  saturday nights are particularly special when we are not at the cottage because all the neighborhood boys run in a pack, mine included, from yard to yard playing tag and something called man hunter and hide and seek.  i was so excited as my taco meat simmered on the stove last night just thinking about once again being able to sit in my chair in the front yard and watch the boys play as dusk rolled in. 

 

 

and so it was a fiesta/picnic/date/family night all in one.  it was wonderful.  i forgot napkins so my best friend and i dripped taco juice on the grass and wiped sour cream on our pajamas. 

 

 

we discreetly ate our tacos, or as discreetly as one can when eating big overstuffed sloppy tacos, until the boys slowly noticed and came over for bites.  like seagulls we fed them bits and pieces and threw passing boys a taco or two.  it was as enjoyable as i’d imagined our first evening in our chairs to be.  in our new mayberry like neighborhood in our bright yellow chairs.  my best friend and i can’t wait to do this again. 

pumping or attempting to

i am an optimistic person and can almost always find a silver lining or a way to claim that technically the glass is still half full, but yesterday i had an experience that i could not spin.  it’s circumstances like these that can lead to hundreds of women showing up at a target store unannounced to simultaneously nurse their babies without appropriate coverage just to prove a point.  most of the following events were more my lack of preparation than crimes of the inconsiderate man but let me remind you that nursing women are hormonal, passionate and impulsive.  you best not cross between a mama and her cubs or you may get attacked.  although i refrained from attacking anyone, i am still reeling from yesterday’s events.

i was scheduled to assist with an epic (the computer program i train medical personnel on) class at a local college

i’ve taught here before and assumed it would be no problem

i have not taught here since the arrival of huck and starting my new hobby… pumping

i arrived and assisted with the first portion of the class

in no time i could feel the pressure

time to pump

i let my co-worker know i was stepping out to pump

back in ten minutes i promised

this would prove to be a gross understatement

left the class

noticed i did not have my pump

walked to first floor, two miles across hot parking lot to truck

located pump

located leftover walnut fudge from breakfast

ate fudge, carried pump and walked two miles back to building

briskly walked to first floor bathroom to pump

sat down

opened pump

looked for outlet

found none

packed up pump

left bathroom

stopped at front desk to inquire about new lactation room a student had mentioned

no one at front desk

picked up phone

called main campus number

patiently navigated through menu full prompts

sighed when “press six for inquiries on lactation suite” was not an option

time elapsed: 8 minutes

finally made contact

inquired about location of pumping room

explained to wanda what pumping was and why it may be needed

“when a woman has a baby…”

waited while wanda searched her email regarding new pumping room

was transferred to jim in security to have pumping room unlocked

sighed as jim asked what pumping was

substituted the word lactation for pumping

sighed as jim remained confused

“when a woman has a baby…”

asked about location

was told secret location of pumping room

second floor room 221

thanked security

agreed to meet outside of pumping room

time elasped 11 minutes

raced up stairs and wound through hallways until 221 was located

perused 12 years worth nursing class photos (as i was ironically located in the nursing building)

noted that room 221 was the obstetrics sim lab (practice area for student nurses to simulate labor and
delivery i assume)

noted that this was a clever use of resources and real estate

waited 10 minutes for security

no security

called wanda again to inquire about the status of security

navigated through prompts

reached my friend wanda

requested to be transferred to jim

request denied

was told to call jim directly

was given jim’s extension

looked at my cell phone realizing that an extension number was no good from an outside phone

decided that security extension number (four digit) would probably work if prefaced with three digit
main campus number

started to feel the anxiety bubbling up from my stomach

started to feel milk leaking down my stomach

placed call

man on other end: beverly hills how can i help you

me:ha ha, it’s erin again, so sorry to bug you again but i really need to get back to my class

man on other end: what do you need?

me: i need the pumping room unlocked

man on other end: the what?

me:pumping room

man on other end: what are you pumping?

me: when a woman has a baby…

man on other end: i’ll make you a deal, i’ll unlock it if you promise to let me watch

me: …..what?!?

man on other end: honey, i think you got the wrong number, this is a mobile tinting business

me:  sorry, thanks

time elasped 24 minutes

called wanda back and insisted she transfer me

security: we can’t be waiting for you all day

me: i mean no offense, but i can’t be waiting for you

security:we’ll be right there

me: ok

looked at more nursing photos

noted the difference of timeless hairstyles vs trend hairstyles

noted that there is a third category called bad hair

noted that i fit into third category

felt guilty for not going on to school to get my rn

started to feel anxious again

started thinking of alternative places to pump in the event that security never shows

considered requirement for location

wants: privacy needs: outlet

waited 10 more minutes for security with no results

time elapsed: 34 minutes

checked both upstairs women’s bathrooms for outlets

none

raced downstairs, check both women’s bathrooms for outlets

none

considered not pumping…

not an option…

pumping moms know that pumping is already a slippery slope

missing pumping appointments will result in a serious breast milk drought

cursed my electric pump

remembered several years ago cursing my battery operated super wimpy pump

took a deep breath

opened the door to the men’s bathroom and scan for outlets

none

raced to other downstairs men’s bathroom

apologized to man exiting not really meaning it

entered

scanned for outlets

none

raced upstairs

wiped my sweat mustache on my shirt

checked both men’s bathrooms located on opposite ends of building for outlets

none

started checking classrooms

frantically ran door to door

finally found an open one

privacy? nope

outlet? yes

started fumbling with pump bag and the nearest outlet

said a prayer that no students walk in

students walked in

me:  i’m all done with my electrical checks your instructor should be here shortly

considered telling them that there’s a pop quiz coming

decided toying with college students wass not my priority here

reminded myself that breast milk is a use it or lose it system

noted that i am currently not using it

worried that i am slipping out of tune with huck every day i'm away from him

felt guilty

raced down the hallway

realized i didn’t even know where i was racing to

wished i was amish because they probably don’t use eclectic pumps

concluded that they probably don’t even use pumps

why? because they are not epic trainers

started to cry when i thought about the lucky amish moms who get to stay home and nurse their
babies anytime they want

wished i was amish

subconsciously raced to the women’s bathroom and found myself in the handicapped stall

65 degrees, fluorescent lights, sitting on the toilet while another toilet continuously flushes due to some plumbing problem

remembered seeing or hearing somewhere that some women manually express milk

took a deep breath

took out milk collection bottle

pulled up underwire

took another deep breath

conjured up an image of huck crying

took another deep breath

waited for milk to start pouring out, the way it does when  i'm shopping in the store or when i walk
into the nicu full of crying babies

nothing

stared at my breasts and willedl them, begged them to start dripping

nothing

thought of farmers milking their cows

rolled my eyes at myself

tried to relax

looked at the clock

panicked

time elapsed: 42 minutes

started milking for lack of a better word

realized i was clenching my jaw and had aching shoulders from the tension

remembered learning how to milk a goat at twelve years old from my 4H dance teacher

applied same principles

barely a drop

agreed with my paranoid imaginary friends that this is not going to work

packed up and start running down the hallway again

started checking stairwells and other low profile areas

found another open classroom

considered taking my chances again

decided it was not worth the risk, students where everywhere

was drawn to a corner

a corner containing the world’s shortest extension cord

grabbed extension cord

remembered seeing a bathroom downstairs with an outlet in the hallway near the door

decided i better make some signs

borrowed two sheets of paper and a marker

ran downstairs

plugged in my extension cord in the hallway

measured the distance to the women’s and then to the men’s bathroom

men’s was closer… figures

scribbled one sign to place near the plug

sign one: please do not unplug

placed one sign near the door where a passerby might see:

sign two: seriously, do not ask, this is awkward enough!

extension cord reached to the door, barely

had to plug my ac adaptor in and then snake cord under door (this left ac adaptor on the outside of the door)

snuck inside

had to sit on the floor of the men’s bathroom

laid out my sterile field or as close as i could get it

plugged ac adaptor into pump

angels sang out as my little pump started to hum

hooked up in record time

closed my eyes and pretended i was anywhere but where i was

finished pumping

spilled an entire bottle of milk on the floor

sighed

agreed that there was nothing sanitary about this milk anyway

dumped the other bottle into the urinal

washed my pump

washed my hands

raced back upstairs

returned world’s shortest extension cord

left the signs on it just to make the next person wonder

jogged back to my classroom

took a deep breath

smiled

opened the door

picked up where i left off assisting the students

“yes, scan the patient and the mar will open automatically”

wondered if there were any security cameras in the hallways or possibly some of the classrooms

giggled when i thought of security reviewing the tapes and wondering what this crazed woman with
the small black backpack was doing

after leaving the college i called miss tammie to find out how little huckleberry was doing. 

found out that we are more in tune than i thought

precisely as i was dumping over a bottle of milk onto the men’s bathroom floor miss tammie was dumping an entire bottle of milk down huck’s onesie during an unfortunate bottle malfunction….

i pledge allegiance

 

 

one tiny part of scott’s master plan for our new (very old) house was achieved today.  scott may not be passionate about a long list of things, but his country is one of them.  he has wanted to hang a flag in our front yard for many years.  i intended to surprise him for his birthday this year, but he asked while we were in home depot the other day and who was i to say no?  scott’s man cave is the laundry room, he watches dora and diego instead of sports and doesn’t know what it’s like to sleep past six am so if he’s a good boy in the store and wants a flag, a flag he shall have.  scott had many volunteers willing climb up the ladder and hang his new flag.

 

 

after attempts by all it became apparent that gavin was the only one coordinated and brave enough to climb all the way up.  note that scott is wearing his official target bag gloves designed to protect his precious flag.  you see, scott had just finished painting some new adirondack chairs for me and he tends to get a good deal of paint on himself while doing these projects.  we wouldn’t want yellow paint all over our new flag and i am far too frugal to pay for real rubber gloves.

 

 

gavin stretched into the air to attach the final clip as the little boys gazed up in amazement.  at scouts the boys are practicing flag ceremonies and the expectations regarding respect of our flag.  we discussed this again and it was a learning opportunity for all. 

 

 

and so they gathered and said the pledge… fifteen times.  pete even rode over to join in.  this year we’ve had to memorize so many thing; the cub scout promise, the glory be, multiplication facts specifically the 11’s, the hail mary, the law of the pack and the apostles creed.  somewhere along the lines things must have blended together a little because i saw more than a few of them finish the pledge of allegiance with the sign of the cross.

 

 

so tonight our front yard is adorned with our reverent new flag and scott’s facebook page is adorned with this reverent new photo.   

step stool

with an ever growing family it seems we outgrow so many areas in our house.  one of the most annoying areas that we no longer fit is the dining room table.  it doesn’t help that two of our dining room chairs are out of commission for various reasons.  for weeks, we have been sitting on an array of other objects to make up for our missing chairs and it’s getting old. 

driving the boys to school the other morning i spied a must have salvage in someone's trash. 

 

 

this beauty.  now who could pass this up?  with little boys that love to climb up and help in the kitchen or get the craft supplies down from the high shelf for their little brothers, i have always wanted a step stool like this one. 

 

 

there was no denying it, with the condition this guy was in, i was going to have to hide it from scott until it was well on it’s way to being refurbished.  scott always appreciates the final product but just not the journey. if things are in particularly rough condition sometimes he lacks the imagination it takes to see the value.

 

 

 

after hauling it home, we got right to work.  it started with our usual bleach and water scrub down followed by a full day in the sun which once again i am convinced kills any real germs.  some naval jelly to dissolve the rust.  note to anyone considering using naval jelly, it will not only eat rust, but also the skin off your hands.

 

we did some scrubbing with the steel brush, sandpaper and steel wool.  it’s helpful to have a team that will take turns on items that require a lot of sanding.  sanding is not fun.

 

next was time for some spray paint but first i had to cover the rubber mat to protect it.  my only available scrap paper was tommy’s homework from last week.  it worked quite well and also got to serve another purpose before finding it’s way to the recycle bin.

 

at this point i felt the condition was good enough that i could reveal it to scott.  as usual, he jumped right in and agreed to help.  he offered to do the first coat of spray paint. 

 

i wanted a dark undercoat so i could later see it through the top coat.

 

 

next was the top coat, off white to match the dining room furniture.

 

 

while one of the coats of paint was drying i turned my attention to the cushion which was in very rough shape.  i choose to leave the original vinyl in place.  my plan was to cover it with a new piece of fabric.

 

i always pick up extra fabric at old time pottery when they have sales.  i have a color scheme in mind for each room so i try to pick up several patterns in coordinating colors so that when a project like this comes along, i not only have fabric to use, but matching fabric.  i had this scrap lying around from a previous project.

 

after cutting it to size i simply used a standard cubicle issued stapler to staple it onto the existing pad.

 

  

 

it turned out rather charming.

 

 

after several coats of the off white, it was time to rough up the edges and let that black undercoat peek through simulating the years of wear and abuse that this step stool actually had received.  this will also hide any additional marks that the boys will no doubt add.

 

the wear and tear was easy to simulate with some aggressive rubbing of steel wool.  the cushion was reattached.

 

 

the final product turned out like this.  kind of cute i think. 

the boys have already deemed this their favorite piece of furniture.  i find it in every room.  sometimes it’s just the extra chair but also has been used to hold up the end of a makeshift tent, to reach confiscated items back down from the top of the entertainment center and as a diving platform for poor auggie when the boys decided to play circus yesterday.  what was once destined for the trash heap will get a few more miles and a few more memories on it around here. 

canned answers

 

 

walking by the bleachers filled with families at the pool

navigating through the produce section at my favorite grocery store

mingling with other church goers as we pack up the church bag after the closing hymn

 

i see someone watching us out of the corner of my eye

and i know they will most likely approach

and i already know what they will say

because i am rarely surprised by what people say anymore

I've only been the mother of five boys for a short time, but already my answers flow without even thinking

sometimes the boys even answer for me or most recently offer comments that have been previously said about them

i heard finn the other day say to the grocery bagger, “we have five boys, that’s a basketball team”

 

if you were to see me out and about with all the boys in tow, you might be tempted to say one of the following

I've included my standard canned answer just in case you were wondering

 

wow, five boys

me: yep (making sure i put on my best smile even if I'm not feeling it)

 

wow, that’s enough for a basketball team

me: yep (same smile although would it really make sense to have a team ranging from age 10 down to newborn? I think not)

 

wow, i bet you have a big house

me: not really, we like being close

 

wow, i bet your grocery bill is big

me: (holding up coupons) yep, that’s why i shop like this

 

wow, you must be catholic

me: yep

 

wow, just like Mitt Romney

me:

Scott: yes, just like Mitt.  We’re conservatives.  I assume you are as well.  Do you listen to Glenn Beck?  I like your bumper sticker.  We can’t find the Catholics for Romney sticker, where did you get yours?  Did you know there’s a Tea Party rally coming up?  Wanna go together…

 

wow, all toe heads

me:yep (still no idea what this phrase really means or even how to spell it)

 

wow, cookie cutter children

me: yep, then go into one of two family anecdotes, either the baptism photo one or the ultrasound one depending on my mood

 

wow, twins?

me: nope, just close in age

 

wow, quads?

me: (looking confused… seriously?) nope, just close in age

 

wow, you have your hands full

me: yep

 

wow, no girls? really?

me: nope

 

wow, five boys, are you trying for the girl?

me: nope

 

wow, five boys? my son had fill in blank boys.

me: any grand daughters now?

 

wow, five boys? that’s nothin!  i know this one family that had fill in the blank boys

me: wow

 

wow, five boys?  at least you can pass the clothes down

me: yep

 

wow, give boys? GOD bless you

me: he has

 

i don’t want to give the impression that it ever gets old or on my nerves that people seek me out just to comment on the boys and our family.  it’s an honor really even when we have somewhere to get to or someone has to go potty and i really don’t have five minutes to chat about my lovely brood.  today at church we sat in the front pew and after church there was actually a short line of even shorter little old ladies that came up to bless our family and marvel over all the little boys.  it’s just funny how predictable their comments get and even more predicable how my comments have gotten. 

we did an impromptu photo shoot today when finn insisted that they all sit next to him on the step.  as i was editing photos tonight i laughed when i realized that if i saw a family of five girls i would probably make all the exact same comments! 

well, time to go do my nightly rounds to make sure all of my little toe headed, cookie cutter, clothes sharing, mitt romney wanna be basketball team is tucked in.

 

 

goodnight.

onions

 

 

i miss this.  at the old house i never kept my onions in the frige no did i ever buy onions. 

whenever i needed an onion, i would simply send a boy out to the backyard to pull one.  we had a fantastic pull one plant one routine going on.  the chosen little boy would take his time deciding on the best onion to pull, yank it out of the ground and pull a replacement onion set out of his pocket.  he would then drop the tiny new onion set into the hole left by his newly picked mature onion as rehearsed with his mother.  this little boy would usually bring his freshly picked onion in through the back door, greens, dirt and all and swing it wildly though the living room sprinkling my compost all over the room before dropping it as requested into the sink for me. 

i would rinse it and peel it and cut off the greens dropping the scraps into the compost bucket which would then be sent back out to the back yard by another little boy.  i miss that

fresh onions are beautiful.  i am reminded of my 4h days whenever i trim fresh onions.  i often step back and judge them when i have trimmed and peeled them.  often times i award them a blue ribbon in my imaginary county fair.  this is why i have 67 photos of onions on my computer at all different stages of the planting, growing, picking, cleaning, cutting, cooking and composting. 

i paid $2.99 last week for two pounds of yellow onions that i will use up within about two weeks.  i paid $1.79 for a bag of onion sets last year that lasted me for six months.

i don’t have a garden at the new house yet.  lots of things seemed to be priorities when we first moved in, but now i am realizing that had i planted things immediately upon moving in, we would be harvesting by now.  on the other hand, i remind myself that i was 8 months pregnant and surrounded with boxes to unpack when we moved in. 

i have selected the area that i will start converting into my garden, purchased soil and even have a few plants to go along with the hundreds of seeds ready to go in the ground.  i just need to find the time, inspiration and energy to get it done.

i am going to attempt an in ground garden for the first time in florida.  i have always done well with raised beds but for my kitchen garden here at this house i want to see if i can avoid the raised bed theme.  i plan to grow all my herbs, onions, garlic and tomatoes just steps from my door so that i can seamlessly harvest and cook. 

of course before i have even started this garden, i am busy planning the rest of them.  i’ve been fascinated for the last year or so with urban gardens and permaculture and the possibility of growing a large percentage of what we eat instead of buying it.  we have a relatively constant growing season although rather poor soil quality. 

instead  of dreaming about what i don’t have and blogging about what i miss, i should really just be out there making it happen right now.  but i’m comfy and it’s raining out and huck is nursing so i think i will just have to wait till tomorrow to make that happen.

goodnight world.

sweet dreams of onions and blue ribbons

today

 

 

woke up to spanish music blaring on the alarm clock

woke scott up barking at him to hit the snooze

rolled over and snuggled with sweet baby huck

took an elbow to the nose from a not so sweet preschooler

dropped gavin and tommy at the bus stop

made small talk with the man who leases out his front yard as the neighborhood bus stop

found out that the man has no choice and really doesn’t care for kids

dropped petey and huck off at miss tammie’s

dropped my cell phone

drove finn to vpk

finn drove me up to wall with his constant chatter

took advantage of a bit of extra time before work

took advantage of clearance rack at walgreens

bought creamed corn for 64 cents

bought cody rhodes wrestling figure for gavin for 2.74

knew cody rhodes would cause feelings of jealousy amongst the boys

bought three clearanced foam airplanes for the other brothers

bought a halloween edition nestles crunch

arrived for work at the hospital

same hospital where 6 short weeks ago huck was delivered

reported to the bat cave for duty

waited 4 hours for the bat phone to ring

made an appointment at employee health for stupid sinus infection

leaked

pumped

was saved by a co-worker when some tech boys attempted to enter my makeshift pumping room while i was pumping

apologized to tech boys for not picking a room with a door to pump in

marveled at the fact that the bat cave has about 27 rooms and i pump in the only room without a real door

washed pump parts at a sink that clearly stated it was out of order

went to the cafeteria

ate a fish sandwich with cheese

assisted labor and delivery with a technical issue

resolved technical issue and

ran into the nurse that delivered huck

ran into the director that offered me a job during my labor

walked past 3311, the room where huck was delivered

visited the nicu

thought of huck

leaked

obtained nine new pacifiers from the nicu to replace the nine pacifiers that auggie has eaten

returned to bat cave

signed in at employee health

took employee health lady’s coupons

realized that i had made appointment at the wrong campus

begged employee health lady to squeeze me in anyway

was dumbfounded when asked to state the date of my last period

got prescription for antibiotics

got prescription for claritin

picked up gavin from violin

presented cody rhodes

made him promise not to tell his brothers about cody rhodes

told him to hide cody rhodes in his backpack

fought traffic all the way to miss tammie’s

reminded gavin to keep cody rhodes hidden

picked up rest of boys

was disappointed to find out that cody rhodes made an appearance before we left miss tammie’s driveway

pulled over less that a block from miss tammie’s to settle a fight over cody rhodes

fought traffic all the way home

realized i failed to pick up my prescriptions

nursed huck

did some math calulations

marvalled at the fact that for the past two days, huck has drank exactly, to the mililiter, the amount of milk i’ve pumped each day

burped huck

cursed my sinus pain

cursed cody rhodes

cursed my underwire bra

cursed my super frugal ways

acknowledged that i should have coughed up the money ten years ago to buy a nursing bra, i most certainly would have gotten my money’s worth

waited for scott to get home

went to the grocery store for soda and beer

walked though a monsoon in the parking lot

bought ten pounds of ground beef

bought 1 bottle of balsamic vinegar

forgot to buy soda and beer

was recognized by three of the store employees as “the coupon lady”, “the coupon girl”, and the “macaroni and cheese family”

used coupons acquired at employee health

loaded my groceries in the rain

drove home through a flash flood

patiently received my political update for the day

nodded appropriately

liked Catholics for romney on facebook in exchange for scott unloading my groceries in the rain

nursed huck

burped huck

questioned my decision of making my political views known on facebook

decided not to ever post anything political again on facebook

posted something slightly political to test the waters

giggled as auggie humped my mother in law’s left ankle

cringed as auggie humped my left ankle

smiled when scott teared up while watching undercover boss

smiled when finn finally fell asleep on my lap still arguing with me with his eyes closed

did not smile as petey appeared from the kitchen holding an assortment of donuts that he had taken bites of

contemplated what to feed the boys tomorrow morning now that their donuts are gone

had a bite of petey’s donut to help me think

sat down to blog

sat down on a fork

watched scott sweep as i fought a bit of writer’s block

fought back a smile as i watched auggie hump scott’s broom

started yawning

fought heavy eyelids while

stared at the spell check button

never hit it

realized that the photo i started with was not what i ended up blogging about

decided to add another completely unrelated photo to the end of the blog to even things out

hit the post button

 

grieving…

we’re grieving today.  i say we, but in actuality, it’s only me.  huck has no idea that as we snuggle and stare at each other in the darkness of my bed tomorrow morning at 5:30 am it will be our last time nursing.  get a grip i remind myself and stop exaggerating.  technically, it will be our last time nursing for the next 10 hours or so. we will most certainly resume as soon as i return home.  i will pump at work and no doubt nurse him the minute i pick him up from miss tammie possibly on her sofa right in the living room but for sure as soon as i get him in the truck.  on a side note, vehicle manufacturers have definitely not taken nursing mothers into consideration when building vehicles.  although perhaps if i lost 50 pounds or so baby huck would fit a bit better between myself and the steering wheel.  moving on.  tomorrow i go back to the land of the cubicles and the outlook calendars. 
as i go through today i am savoring each precious act as the routine i’ve so carefully choreographed is going to be retired.  today is the last show.  we will never again perform this dance.  i bought a front row ticket for today’s show so i can commit to memory each and every act that i’ve grown to love. tomorrow a new show, far from being perfected,  will be performed.  dress rehearsals have not gone super well so far.  huck does not enjoy his practice bottle each morning and we’ve unsuccessfully attempted to make it to the bus stop twice just for practice.  this could be a bit bumpy.  i have the skeleton of tomorrow’s show written, but it needs a bit of tweaking and all of the dancers are a bit anxious and the choreographer is an emotional wreck so if you happen to be in the audience tomorrow please cut us some slack. 
in the meantime today i grieve…
goodbye two hour nursing sessions cuddling with huck and my auggie doggie
hello two hour planning meetings with my co-workers

goodbye silly lunches of warmed up leftovers, one big plate with two forks, one for me and one for my favorite three year old
hello brown bag i haven’t missed you

goodbye “old trusty” my laptop that burns my knees and is missing the shift key and the c key (someone asked the other day why i don’t ever use capital letters when i blog anymore, now you all know)
hello real computer with all keys intact and even an extra monitor (extra monitor, i promise to get to know you a little better this time, maybe i’ll even learn how to wake you up)

goodbye nursing marathons and spending my time topless for the majority of the day
hello blouses, it’s been awhile and say hello to shoes with heels, i think there’s a reunion in our future

goodbye dog whisperer, pioneer woman, tyler florence, and all cast members of the chew  it’s been nice knowing you
hello ashley (one of my best cube mates) i’ve missed you and have so much gossip to catch up on

goodbye chubby little cheeks and super powered little suction mouth
hello hard plastic pump you make nursing seem like a chore and i do not look forward to our upcoming sessions

goodbye mailman, ups, traveling religion people and all neighborhood dog walkers.  you will probably think i moved because you will never see me again
hello supervisors, co-workers, copy machine repair guy and frat boys (they have a special table in the break room) you probably thought they fired me

goodbye mid morning baths and afternoon naps.  it’s been amazing
hello mid morning meetings and afternoon projects

goodbye casual (think really casual) attire
hello underwire, underwear and shoes

goodbye searching for hours for the one and only sharpened homework pencil
hello office supply room

goodbye craigslist, pinterest and other complete time sucking websites
hello outlook email, citrix and sharepoint

goodbye broken, ugly but functional, soft comfy green rocker recliner
hello fairly uncomfortable rigid standard issue rolling office chair

goodbye parent drop off family
hello early morning bus stop family

goodbye fussy hour when i let you use my breast as a pillow because you don’t really want to eat, but just want to be near them
hello…  hmmmm…
sorry, i just had a realization.
this is why they say writing is therapeutic i suppose.  i have been anxious for weeks knowing this day was coming.  i have been crying on and off today knowing that this day was coming but as i type this out and process my thoughts i realize that the tears only come when i mention the nursing.  interesting… 
diagnosis: anxiety related to the loss of nursing during the day
prescription: nurse huck as often as possible while with him
                     pump while at work on a schedule to keep milk supply up
                     quit crying and blogging about your breasts (this could prove to be embarrassing down the road)

i love being my own therapist not only because i’m frugal but because i am so dang good at it! 
so today i grieve… over the final showing of a production i kind of liked a lot.  in a week or two i’m sure we will all be adjusted and carrying on the way we always do.  the tears will be gone or at least being shed over something else.   this is a show i feel i could have starred in for the rest of my life…
and now on broadway:

MATERNITY LEAVE

STARRING ERIN

(AND HER FAMOUS BREASTS)

sorry if you missed this show.  please be sure to buy tickets for our upcoming appearances though and for those faithful season ticket holders (GOG bless you)… i’m sure you won’t be disappointed as our next show, a comedy,

 

ERIN, WORKING GIRL

 

promises to be hilarious.  watch as a mother of five attempts to hold down a full time job, a household, five boys, a multitude of extracurriculars and her sanity.

coincidence… or not

Having Huck start off his life in the NICU meant complete chaos for the first two weeks of his life.  Having him home for the last few weeks I have finally been able to process and digest the amazing series of events that lead to the day I could finally bring him home.  Nursing a baby gives one time to think and staring down at a sweet little baby generally makes one think about… well… that sweet little baby.  Huck’s conception, pregnancy and most of all birth were riddled with coincidences, serendipity and an amazing alignment of the stars none more fascinating than this one.

 

somewhere in south florida

on the third floor of a children’s hospital

in a nicu

a little baby hibernated in his isolette

the baby was stressed

the heart to heart program was implemented

thought was given to determine what fabric would be best suited for the baby

he was given two very special flannel hearts

the hearts were to be scented by his mother’s breast

he wore his heart over his face every day as he grew stronger and stronger

meanwhile…

somewhere in missouri

several hundred miles away

in a very busy house

a mother of three sat at her sewing machine

news had traveled that a baby had been added to the ever budding family tree

blessed with the skills and patience to sew

she created a very special blanket

she stitched with love and grace

once finished, she packaged it and shipped it south

 

somewhere in south florida

in a pink house

a baby just released from his cocoon in the nicu was very sleepy

his mother swaddled him in a very special blanket while tucking him in

next she placed a very special heart over his face

then her jaw dropped in sheer amazement

tears threatened to spill over the mother’s eyes

overcome with emotion and the presence of GOD’s hand

she smiled and tucked in her baby swaddled in his very special blanket with his very special heart covering his eyes

 

 

Thank you Pam and Deanna for surrounding my baby Huck with love and for allowing all you do to be guided by the hand of GOD. 

help, I've become my father

teenagers embarrass easily

i was embarrassed more often than not when i went out with my family during my very bizarre teenage years

if it wasn't the dilapidated car we were driving it was my sister’s haircut (think butchy mullet here) or our family's obvious lack of social skills

the worst by far was something we dubbed highway shopping

driving along and we would notice something up ahead on the side of the road in the trash or having been lost from a moving vehicle

sometimes we would offer a distraction or simply hold our breathes hoping we could pass by without stopping

but inevitably, my dad would point, comment, and pull on over to check out a diamond in the rough kind of treasure that had been spotted

we would slink down in the back seat praying that no one we knew would happen to be driving by

mortified that my dad would actually stop his car and get out just to salvage something so seemingly silly, some piece of worthless garbage

seven feet of garden twine, a bicycle rim, a dented watering can… the list goes on

the best, or worst i suppose, was a dead porcupine that was to be salvaged for his quills that would be used in a crafting project at some point in the future

MORTIFYING

but apparently not mortifying enough

because…

today, roughly 15 short years later, i am far worse than he ever was

luckily i have boys and they love to get involved, not embarrassed in the least

the only one in this family that’s offended by my highway shopping ways is Scott, poor Scott (but not actually too poor because I save him a lot of money this way, or so I tell him)

driving through the bus stop neighborhood the other day I found this little gem…

It was in rough shape.  solid wood but a bad paint job several years ago and some bad care for several more had left their mark.  I wasted no time tossing him in the back of my truck and also took the matching pair of Dell computer speakers.  I did refrain from the tempting pair of size 8 bowling shoes though.  Gotta save something for the other scrappers you know.

Once home I unloaded my table and examined it.  The brand name on the bottom and a quick Google search confirmed that some silly person had once spent over $100 on this little table.  Worth far less now, it was time to get dirty and reclaim some of the value that this table once had.

I started with a bleach and water scrub down to clean and disinfect as I always do.  Then some time to dry in the sun.  I am convinced that bleach and sun kill almost anything.  It always make me feel better anyway. 

Next step was to give it an overall coat of off white spray paint.

I sanded some rough spots and gave it one more coat and then sanded some more.

 

My little table really started taking on the look I had imagined however, it looked to clean and too new to fit in with my household so I roughed him up a bit.

 

I aggressively sanded the sides and corners simulating years of wear and stylish tear until i achieved a shabby chic look that satisfied me.  This is a fantastic technique that can be used to make the real existing flaws blend in and appear to be the look you are going for. 

 

  

I was so proud that I made Scott come out and marvel at how clever I was for repurposing this table and how skilled I was for making it look new again and then old at the same time.  i only sent him back in the house when he pointed out that I should be working on a few more of my finds so that he can have his carport back. 

The little table that was destined for the landfill now serves our family room with great style and new purpose. 

we’re watching you

 

 

I’ve often thought I’d make a fabulous undercover detective.  I’m super observant, believe I could keep a low profile, but most of all I am super observant.  We are officially the nosy neighbors of the neighborhood now.  some of these skills must have been genetic because the boys report to me on all neighborhood happenings. 

“Guess what the squirrel lady is throwing out?” 

“Mom, come look at what the girls are doing in the back yard.” 

“Look Dad, we’re watching the same show as the neighbors.” 

 

If you live near me you may be surprised to know how much I actually know about you and your family.  In my defense, it’s not my fault that i have my own little pack of TMZ reporters that gather information on you daily.  in case you’re not quite as snoopy as us, here’s a little peek into what’s going on in our house:

 

 

Scott painted the little boys’ room

I haven’t painted my toes in weeks and really need a pedicure

Petey has transitioned through his potty training regression and is back on track

The dog has started his potty training regression and is on my last nerve

I have one week to work really hard and get my house in shape before going back to work

I have one week to sit and snuggle with Huck before going back to work

I love being a stay home mom

I hate being a stay home mom

Scott brought me to the thrift store yesterday

Scott brought me to a funeral yesterday

Tommy proclaimed that he wants to be a priest several days ago

Tommy was the 2nd worst behaved in church yesterday

i only have two things on my grocery list this week

I have a hundred things on my to do list this week

I can’t wait to catch up with my co-workers

I can’t think about leaving Huck

I have a sinus infection again

I have a baby nursing while i type again

I am starting the Flylady program

I am quitting the hot lunch program

I have decided I can and should refinish furniture

I have decided that I should hide the unfinished projects from Scott

I am supposed to be doing the dishes right now

I am not supposed to be blogging right now

I have to start wearing something other than sports bras and pj’s

I had a nice little chat with my sister the other day

I need to have a nice little chat with my dad… soon

I am learning about NFP

I am teaching fourth grade religion classes

I am missing my orange cat Elliott

I am missing my debit card

I got my haircut

I got my contract at work extended

i love burping my baby

i do not love burping my baby at three am

I know most of the neighborhood gossip

i am probably the neighbor most gossiped about

I know alot about you

now you know a little about me.

shopping cart

 

 

1 bad apple

clumsy photographer walking on eggshells

the kiss

     

the finn

 

waiting

 

loyal

 

buy on get one free

 

caged

 

pouty

sensitive

 

feisty

 

twenty

chicken legs