if you give a mom a camera, she’s probably going to want to take a bajillion pictures every where her boys go…
if she’s going to the beach with them, she’ll probably bring that camera and try to capture all of her little men in one very clever shot…
she’ll probably insist that they all lay on their bellies like alligators and smile at the camera…
some of these boys will become uncooperative and chances are, a battle of wills will begin…
most likely this mom will enlist the help of her patient husband to replace the fleeing models…
although this will most likely become an exercise in futility…
eventually the models will probably realize they will not be released until they cooperate, so they will probably follow the minimal amount of direction…
but chances are good that just about the time these models look as though they may just all consider glancing at the camera for a split second, an amused tourist couple will walk by, point and comment…
this mom will probably give her usual fake smile and quickly answer all the usual questions, yes… four boys… nope, no sets of twins… nope, not even interested in having a girl… yep, they’re super blond, good observation… yes, I am willing to sell them, are you interested in a package deal? Nope, no money is necessary, they’re free today, in fact, I’ll even throw in a free photo of you with your new family… I just happen to have my camera here today…
and the tourist couple will probably walk off laughing as another model makes a break for it…
the mom will probably yell to the distracted dad to hurry up and capture the escapee…
and he will probably escape again while the mom tries and fails to get sand out of the auto adjust on her camera…
the mom will probably be unsuccessful and will comment on how proud she is of herself for buying the five year warranty on that camera…
and she will most likely continue taking bad photos with the auto adjust feature turned off…
the models will soon tire of this game and probably start acting out even more…
the ring leader might even decide that this would be the perfect opportunity to demonstrate an ocean side, Grammy worthy, fit…
it will include rolling, spitting, and claims of injuries for his captive audience and will most likely be well received…
and predictably, that mom with the camera will continue shooting…
soon the mother will tire of the flailing eight year old rolling down the beach and decide to cut him out of the shot…
she will probably give up on the dream of having four perfect little princes in one breathtaking shot framed by the white sugar sand and the serene green waves of the Gulf of Mexico…
so instead, she’ll take candids of individual princes with rug burned heads from dozing on the living room rug…
and she’ll probably encourage some of her angels to lose the fake smile…
most likely when she requests this, the very same boy will immediately repeat his fake photo smile and refuse to unclench his teeth…
and this will probably get his modeling contract cancelled, for this afternoon anyway…
the determined mom with the broken camera will probably be working on her second degree sun burn by now forgetting that she is taking antibiotics and also not wearing sunscreen like the models.
she will sneak up behind some unsuspecting model and hope for a good shot…
eventually the unsuspecting model will catch on and will attempt a slow get away, camera in hand that mom will probably follow until this model’s nose starts dripping making him ineligible for a cover shot…
the mom will finally give up…
until she glances back toward the water and notices a clever shot of an ex-model frolicking in the ocean…
and soon she’ll give up on him as well and go for the much easier to capture landscape shot…
She’ll be thinking, “at least mother nature cooperates during photo shoots.”
she will probably retract this comment as she peels the sun burned skin off her back with a lint roller for the next week and a half…
and so if this is the Christmas photo card you get this year,
remember that,
if you give a mom a camera, she’s probably going to want to take a bajillion pictures every where her boys go…
He’s also made some interesting friends at the skate park that he goes to several afternoons each week. He let me know the other day that it was just a matter of weeks really before he was going to be famous. One of his friends, a twenty something skater boy, had videotaped him and was putting it on You Tube. I’m on the look out for paparazzi these days, just waiting for some of his fans to recognize him.
