Saturday, October 31, 2009

Happy Halloweenie!!!

Note to all new parents out there. If you want to save yourself a lot of work and your kids a lot of tears, wait until the last minute to commit to any costume purchases. Gavin changed from zombie pizza delivery man to zombie break dancer and finally after a few tears to zombie biker. He was very patient getting into full makeup and costume.

Some of us however, were less cooperative. Finn wore his costume for exactly 7 seconds. Thank goodness it was just a hand-me-down.

Gavin's makeup turned out really great. Unfortunately it quickly melted off his face by the third house. I guess this is what happens when you trick or treat in eighty degree weather.

Tommy made a decision and stuck with it from the start. Punk zombie! This costume fit his personality so well. He's been wearing it all week!

Petey was very excited to be transformed into a mummy baby. These are all the left over parts from Scott's temporary ankle cast. On a side note, Scott sprained the other ankle this week.

Who could resist putting candy in this little zombie's bag?

Petey was very comfortable in his costume.

Tommy was in his glory.


His spikes were very popular with the other trick or treaters!

Mr Serious refused to celebrate.

Gavin paced himself.

Finn picked up a hitchhiker.

Ten little mummy toes!

I love these little chunky thighs!

Soon, more hitchhikers arrived the stroller got heavier and heavier and heavier.
Eventually, Scott was pushing an eighty pound stroller with two sprained ankles on an eighty three degree night just so his little boys could have one more great memory to add to their childhoods. I love this guy!

The sweaty Trick or Treaters soon started to strip. I soon discovered this one had once again opted out of wearing underwear.

Oatie took advantage of the empty stroller.

Finn soon regretted his decision to refuse his costume and begged for candy. Luckily he has generous brothers.

Happy first Halloween Petey and...
Hope you all had a Happy Halloween too!

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Does Windex Take Bird Blood Off Wood Floors?

This is what I found the other day as I walked into the dining room arms full of groceries. I let out a loud sigh as I used my critical mommy thinking skills to prioritize the following tasks. Properly dispose of dead germ infested bird, carry in one chunky sleeping baby, carry in one sleeping super heavy very sticky toddler, or finish carrying in the perishable groceries. What to do first. I quickly decided the proper order was sleeping children, groceries, then bird disposal. As you can imagine it didn't take long for word to spread that there was a dead animal in the dining room. Elliott quickly came over to take credit. I was supposed to be impressed but couldn't bring myself to pat him on the back. I couldn't help thinking about calling Heloise to find out what cleaning product worked best to remove bird blood off a wood floor. Gavin quickly declared it was a burrowing owl and that we were going to jail because they were a protected species. Tommy argued back and insisted that we were not going to jail, this was just a bald eagle.




Poor Tommy knew what was coming next. He's the resident animal control officer. Dead or alive, he's responsible for relocating all wildlife back outdoors. His favorite animals to catch are the lizards that come in through the cat door. He normally keeps a pair of gardening gloves in the drawer specifically for these tasks, but must have misplaced them. He seemed to think a pair of underwear would work equally well.



Every mother at some point in her life has to be called upon to find an animal coffin. Thank goodness this wasn't a beloved pet, just an unfortunate bald eagle. I sized him up and gave him the upgraded casket, an empty dryer sheet box. Not even Bounce or Downy, just the generic brand. Sorry, don't think he had life insurance. So now I tried to decide on the burial method. Garbage, bury, compost... Not so sure. Tommy assured me he could take care of it. As I look at the above picture it's really quite clear that a normal mom would allow her four year old son to be in charge of the disposal of a dead bird. It also appears to be irresponsible that I allowed his 1 1/2 year old brother to accompany him on the mission. I sent the undertakers out to the backyard and allowed them ample time to have a simple ceremony and a few prayers, then decided I should check in. I walked out the back door and noticed Tommy was laughing hysterically (never a good sign). He was chasing Finn with the hose. As I was about to ask about the dead bird, I noticed Finn was carrying it around in his bare hand, the coffin long gone. Finn was clutching the bird while Tommy sprayed it continuously with the garden hose. At this point I shook my head realizing that this was more my fault than theirs. What do you really expect a four and 1 1/2 year old to do with a dead bird? Exactly! So I threw on my gardening gloves, chased Finn through the muddy sandbox, retrieved the carcass and made the sign of the cross as I threw the poor bird to his final resting place over the fence into the neighbors backyard. This stuff never seems that strange until I type it out. Gosh, we're nuts. Only in this house...




Thursday, October 22, 2009

Not Me Monday

I don't even know what day it is today, but it is high time for some confessions and a not me Monday.



I didn't come home this week to find a dead bird in the middle of the living room floor. I didn't tell Tommy to get his gardening gloves on and remove it and I certainly didn't glance into the backyard later to see Finn carrying it around while Tommy sprayed it with the hose. Therefore, I most cerainly didn't donn my own gardening gloves and throw it over the fence into the nieghbor's back yard.



I didn't let Tommy go to pre K with no underwear today because I couldn't stand the thought of having my 8th argument with him before nine am.



I didn't go to Target today and buy two packs of little boy socks because I am behind on laundry.



I didn't hurt my back last night trying to demonstrate a new break dance move for the boys.



I didn't walk to the bus stop barefooted this week



I didn't buy a can of lactose free formula just because it was on the clearance shelf



I didn't let Finn take six baths the other day because I was busy trying to get my taxes done



I would never pick up a broken air cleaner that someone was throwing out and bring it home only to call the company and tell them it wasn't working and they most certainly wouldn't tell me it had a five year warranty and that they were shipping me out a new one.


I would never sweep my entire house just because I was too tired to look for the new vaccum bags that I lost.



I would never give my child Worchestire sauce to drink even if they begged for it and I would never laugh as they choked and sputtered



It wasn't me who fed the cat pea soup because we were out of cat food



We would never go for two months with out ketchup and Windex because they weren't on sale yet



And finally I most certainly wasn't me who laughed until I almost lost my bladder function when my poor husband fumbled his way through the dark very cluttered garage on crutches with on ankle in a cast tripped over some hockey sticks and fell over the lawn tracker while flailing his crutches around and knocking a shelf over. That was definetly some other ungrateful wife!

We're Still Alive

Well, we survived the dreaded swine flu. I was successful in quarantining Finn and saved the rest of the family from catching it. I felt like I was in the ICU all week. I was taking vitals every hour, passing out meds, isolating Finn to the master bedroom, scrubbing in and scrubbing out. It was exhausting. I am happy to report Finn is finally back to his normal destructive ways.

We celebrated our nine year anniversary yesterday. Nine years ago I didn't imagine we would be celebrating like this: Scott came home with Chinese take out and Mountain Dew, we all piled on the sofa and watched So You Think You Can Dance, we rolled up the living room rug so we could all do break dance moves on the living room floor on commercials, after our "date", Scott gave me a single rose(I'm pretty sure it was from a gas station). Anyway, not quite as romantic as I imagined but really sums up where our life is at right now. I really wouldn't want it any other way.

We were in the ER again this week. On Friday Scott managed to fall out of his Fed Ex truck into a cactus (I still giggle when I picture it) and he sprained his ankle really bad, there was actually a chip out of the bone. I removed 19 cactus pokeys out of his butt and then the ER Dr put his ankle in a cast and told us to follow up with the orthopedic Dr on Monday. Scott used the crutches to get from the ER wheel chair to the van and then never picked them up again. I went to work on Saturday and left him home with all four boys. Remember the 6 weeks I was home on bed rest with all of them, a little payback. When I called to check in on him he had removed his cast and was scrubbing the kitchen floor. At first I was mad but how could I be mad at someone who would scrub my kitchen floor with a broken ankle? Where did I find this guy?

Friday, October 9, 2009

Home of the Swine

I come home from the ICU after cleaning up vomit, poop and anything else leaking out of seriously sick patients with all sorts of crazy illnesses...

If I'm not coming home from the hospital, I'm coming home from the YMCA child watch where I watch little germ ball children that put everything in their mouths...

Scott comes home from Fed Ex after sharing his pen and scanner with 200 of his closest friends...

Gavin comes home from 2nd grade where he and his classmates really can't wipe their noses yet but are too cool to ask for help so they try anyway and they sneeze all over their best friends because they forget to cover...

Tommy comes home from Pre K and speech therapy everyday where he is exposed to about 50 different classmates and teachers...

Finn comes home from Miss Tammie's house and is always putting his shoes or my cell phone in his mouth and is teething right now so drools on everything...

Petey also comes home from Miss Tammie's and also puts everything within reach into his mouth...

Soooo, it's no wonder we are hibernating at home right now with the Swine Flu. I have been scared to death about getting it but it's here and there's not much I can do now. Finn was in the ER last night with a 103 degree fever and came home with a positive diagnosis. Petey started to show some symptoms but appears to be having a much milder case. I kept everyone home today in hopes of minimizing the spread. I quarantined the sickies to one side of the house and warned the big boys not to come near them. I sanitized in and out of the room. I took Qhour vitals and administered lots of Motrin. So here we are after an exhausting day, Finn is fitfully sleeping on top of Scott's lap. The big boys are performing a high intensity magic show in the living room making it impossible to keep a serene feeling in the house for the sick guys. I guess that's what happens when I make them rest all day and they have no outlet for their energy. Well, time for another set of vitals so I must go. After reading this post, please sanitize your keyboard and go wash your hands.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Walked barefoot and stepped in fire ants on the way to the mailbox, feelings of pain quickly melt as I open a letter of acceptance to the nursing program

Smiled from ear to ear when IRS agent told me we were finished with our audit today, feelings of relief quickly melt as I read the report and find out I need to pay in an additional $8300.00

Started to get pretty ticked off as I read the IRS report but feelings quickly melt and turned to panic as the IRS agent asks to use the bathroom (four little boys using one bathroom, not so clean, need I say more?)


Dancing with Tommy in the kitchen, feelings of love quickly melt as I slip on a banana peel that Finn throws from the high chair

Ran the thermometer across Finn's forehead and it read 100 degrees feelings of empathy quickly melt as I cuddle him in front of the TV and find out Glee is on tonight

Sitting at the table going over our new, even tighter budget, feelings of worry quickly melt as Scott walks in with a box of free formula that a customer gave him, I know things will work out

Rocking Petey to sleep while looking around at the dirty dishes and piles of paperwork everywhere, feelings of being overwhelmed quickly melt as Petey smiles up at me with a huge toothless grin

Smiled as I looked around at all the sleeping boys tonight, feelings of satisfaction quickly melt as I glance over at the pack and play overflowing with clean laundry still waiting to be folded

Laying in bed saying my prayers for those in need, feelings of being blessed quickly melt as I glance at the alarm clock and realize it's 12:30 and I have to be up in 4 1/2 hours to do this all over again

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Not Me Monday #2



In an effort to continue my Not Me Monday series, here is this week's list of things I certainly didn't do this week.




I didn't let the boys sleep on their bare mattresses last night without sheets.




I didn't forget to get my paperwork ready for my upcoming IRS audit and I certainly won't be scrambling to find it the night before the audit next week.




I didn't steal a light bulb out of the dining room chandelier because I was to lazy to go to the laundry room and get a new one for the living room lamp. That would be silly.




I didn't let Finn run around the backyard naked for four hours in an effort to "save a diaper"




I didn't clean up broken glass three times this week because my perfect angels broke a glass, a vase and a mixing bowl.




I would never take a Zumba class and watch the instructor's butt for the entire hour wondering how she could move like that and wishing I could.




I didn't let the boys eat an entire box of CheezIts for dinner while sitting on the sofa and I most certainly didn't brush all the florescent orange crumbs onto the floor before sitting down.




I didn't pretend not to notice Finn smearing yogurt onto the patio window because noticing would require yelling and I was really tired of yelling that day.




I didn't pick my child up early from school this week claiming he had a doctor's appointment just so we could spend a fun afternoon at home together.




I didn't buy Scott a shirt at the thrift shop this week and sneak it into his closet hoping he would just wear it and not question where it came from.




And lastly, this pack and play full of clean, but seriously wrinkled, laundry definitely does not belong to me!
















Legos, blocks, and Matchbox cars. These are some of the creative mediums the boys use to express themselves. Gavin can spend hours meticulously lining up cars end to end all the way across the living room floor. Tommy just finished building a very tall sculpture out of the empty toy bins next to me. It concerns me a little that I have no idea where all 7,000 toys that belong in all 30 toy bins are. But we won't go there.
As I got down on my hands and knees tonight to pick up the above cars, I paused a minute and smiled. Someone had a lot of fun today under this table. In his own little world, some little man carefully selected each car from the toy box and decided on the position before setting each vehicle in place. He would have lined and realigned each car several times until completely satisfied. He probably had to protect his creation from younger siblings trying to get in on his fun. I glanced over at the creator of this masterpiece who is draped up over the sofa arm fast asleep. I felt a twinge of guilt as I picked up the first three cars. I paused and gently lined them back up. I admired his creation for another moment before standing back up and going to find my camera. I tiptoed over sleeping boys in the living room and snuck the batteries out of the remote control. I placed the batteries in my camera and got down on my hands and knees again to capture this latest mess.
My goal each day is to laugh more than I cry. Instead of cursing every mess I have to clean up, I try to appreciate the time and artistic effort that went into each and every piece of the mess or at least try to give a little credit to the little man that came up with the blueprints.