Sunday Sound Bites

While reading another person's blog this morning I found a great entry. A mother of four recalls some of the things that have come out of her mouth in the last week. It was a really unique way to capture some pretty interesting moments so I thought I'd give it a try. Here are some of the things that, like it or not, have come out of my mouth during the last week. Please remember that you are all hearing these out of context and I don't always think before I speak.

It says here that you should apply a rag soaked in milk to the burning area. Pepper spray burns can last up to thirty minutes... Did you take it away from him... Are you sure he didn't spray Finn?

I gotta go, I think we're getting pulled over...

Tommy, put your gloves on and get the dead bird out of my bedroom...

Gross, I think this sandbox has turned into a giant litter box...

That's chicken and you need to eat it if you want to get strong enough to jump skateboards...

I hate the IRS...

I was going 31... 16 miles over?...But the speed limit is 30...When did you change that?

Sorry Gavin, Daddy will have to build you a new skateboard ramp.

You flushed what down the toilet?

Who did this to my glasses?

Sponge Bob rots your brain... Pick something else... Nope, not that either... Because Glenn Martin DDS is an adult cartoon... Because some adults still like cartoons... No, Mommy doesn't have time for cartoons... A transvestite is, NO turn the TV off now and go play on your swing set.

Gavin, it's two in the morning, why are you up already? I don't care what TV show you auto programmed, go back to bed.

Because, all good Catholic boys go to religion. The next 13 years. Too bad, you can't change religions until you move out.

You aren't allowed to buy toys at grocery stores... They're too expensive and they're chincy... Not very well made... Because it's cheaper to manufacture things in China... They pay their workers less...

No, the kitchen is closed.

Take all your brothers outside and don't come back in until the smoke detector stops beeping.

You have to use toilet paper... Then ask me for some... No, you put it in the toilet and flush it... Haven't you ever wiped before?

Because, you can't live on Pop Tarts.

First you pull out the tongue then tighten up the laces, cross them, make a knot, make a little loop with this one, bring this one around and tuck it through right here and pull it to make another loop... Because, you can't wear Velcros forever

Get some pants on.

People... Other... Friend... Remember, I before E... Because you keep spelling it wrong... Because I want you to get them all right... Because you can't be an astronaut if you can't spell

Are you stinky... Say stinky... STINKY... PU stinky... say stinky

No, because you don't need a parachute... There aren't even any tall buildings to jump off of and even if there were, it wouldn't allow enough time for the chute to open, you have to jump out of a plane... because there's an age requirement... yes, but I'm not interested in jumping out of planes. No parachutes!

No scuba equipment either... Don't you just want a new bike or something... because Santa is on a budget this year

I really wish you would reconsider getting chickens... just look at this coop we could build... I know...

So there it is, raw and uncut. Just a glimpse into our crazy week.