There's an Alligator Under my Bed

There's an alligator under my bed, a symbolic one anyway.  An alligator under your bed is far more serious than a skeleton in your closet or a monkey on your back.  Alligators are dangerous, can hurt you and even possibly kill you.  They are a pain to deal with everyday and they can influence your quality of life.

My alligator is my wieght. 

I have always prided myself on my accomplishments.  When I set out to do something, it gets done.  When I tell the world or my family I'm gonna do something.  It gets done. 

When I was still in high school, I told my family and friends, I'm gonna marry Scott...
We'll celebrate our ten year anniversary in October...
Check

We are gonna build a log cbin to raise our family in...
Log cabin, built, lived in and sold,
Check...
Family...
Big Check

I think we're gonna move across the country and build a house in sunny FL...
Sunny FL,
Check...
New house,
Check

I gonna become a nurse...
I graduate in November,
Almost Check

Anything I've talked about, given my time and energy to, been passionate about and thrown a little money at seems to turn out the way I wanted it to, it just seems to happen for me.  With everything except...

My weight.

Some of the things in my life that I've conquered and hurdled and created where much larger problems, projects and issues, but this one little corner of my life has got total control and intimidation over me.  I don't really know how I came to this place or what went so wrong.  I'm not even sure an analysis is appropriate.  I am where I am today, because I made bad food choices and I didn't exercise.  Enough said on that. 

I try to keep my blog honest and that is one of the reasons I'm dumping this post on all of you.  I don't believe in blogging about only the good things in my life that make it seem perfect or my children seem like angels.  I probably go too far sometimes (Scott wasn't thrilled that I posted pictures of the messy van). Believe me, I would rather be blogging about my messy van or some other less personal issue.  It is uncomfortable to blog about something I'm insecure about and an area where I've seriously failed in.  I don't like doing that.  It's also dangerous to put myself out there because it is entirely possible that once again I could fail at this endeavor.  The second reason I will be blogging about this new journey is that I believe in self fulfilling prophecy.  It's been a powerful tool in my life. I have seen it work first hand time and time again.  So it is without further adieu that I announce to the world (alright, really just my 34 followers, family, friends, classmates, random creepers and other people who stumble across my blog purely by accident) that I will soon be wrestling this alligator.

I will be having Gastric Band surgery in the very near future.  This is something I've been considering for a few years and really pursuing the last nine months.  I have started my pre surgery diet of liquids only.  It was day three today and I'm doing OK.  I am excited and nervous and scared and ready.  I apologize in advance for those of you who have no interest in my personal weight loss journey, but remember, my blog, my crazy life, you know the drill.  I will now be looking for followers who are interested in raising boys, very amateur photography, nursing and weight loss.  Hmmmm... I think that's about 0.00000000000012 percent of the population.  But again, I believe in thowin everything out there so here it is. 

I am hoping to share some fun photos along the way.  It's no fun to take before photos but I feel it's a necessary evil.  What fun would after and along the way photos be if you had nothing to compare them to? 

Please support me and don't question my decision.  Recently a co worker asked me if I ever heard of weight watchers.  It took everything I had to bite my tongue and not start chewing her arm off just to display my eating problems.  Maybe then she would agree that surgery is the right option.  How many points does weight watchers assign to one medium size human arm?  I guess I'll ask at the next weight watchers meeting.  Yeah, I've heard of weight watchers you idiot.  For some reason, people are just so opinionated when it comes to weight loss surgery.  I really didn't want to tell everyone, but it will be fairly obvious in the coming months and I don't like to lie.  I just need some clever comebacks when people tell me I'm taking the easy way out or I'm crazy.  I'll have to research that a little. 

Please send some prayers my way and I'll keep you updated on this latest journey.