canned answers

 

 

walking by the bleachers filled with families at the pool

navigating through the produce section at my favorite grocery store

mingling with other church goers as we pack up the church bag after the closing hymn

 

i see someone watching us out of the corner of my eye

and i know they will most likely approach

and i already know what they will say

because i am rarely surprised by what people say anymore

I've only been the mother of five boys for a short time, but already my answers flow without even thinking

sometimes the boys even answer for me or most recently offer comments that have been previously said about them

i heard finn the other day say to the grocery bagger, “we have five boys, that’s a basketball team”

 

if you were to see me out and about with all the boys in tow, you might be tempted to say one of the following

I've included my standard canned answer just in case you were wondering

 

wow, five boys

me: yep (making sure i put on my best smile even if I'm not feeling it)

 

wow, that’s enough for a basketball team

me: yep (same smile although would it really make sense to have a team ranging from age 10 down to newborn? I think not)

 

wow, i bet you have a big house

me: not really, we like being close

 

wow, i bet your grocery bill is big

me: (holding up coupons) yep, that’s why i shop like this

 

wow, you must be catholic

me: yep

 

wow, just like Mitt Romney

me:

Scott: yes, just like Mitt.  We’re conservatives.  I assume you are as well.  Do you listen to Glenn Beck?  I like your bumper sticker.  We can’t find the Catholics for Romney sticker, where did you get yours?  Did you know there’s a Tea Party rally coming up?  Wanna go together…

 

wow, all toe heads

me:yep (still no idea what this phrase really means or even how to spell it)

 

wow, cookie cutter children

me: yep, then go into one of two family anecdotes, either the baptism photo one or the ultrasound one depending on my mood

 

wow, twins?

me: nope, just close in age

 

wow, quads?

me: (looking confused… seriously?) nope, just close in age

 

wow, you have your hands full

me: yep

 

wow, no girls? really?

me: nope

 

wow, five boys, are you trying for the girl?

me: nope

 

wow, five boys? my son had fill in blank boys.

me: any grand daughters now?

 

wow, five boys? that’s nothin!  i know this one family that had fill in the blank boys

me: wow

 

wow, five boys?  at least you can pass the clothes down

me: yep

 

wow, give boys? GOD bless you

me: he has

 

i don’t want to give the impression that it ever gets old or on my nerves that people seek me out just to comment on the boys and our family.  it’s an honor really even when we have somewhere to get to or someone has to go potty and i really don’t have five minutes to chat about my lovely brood.  today at church we sat in the front pew and after church there was actually a short line of even shorter little old ladies that came up to bless our family and marvel over all the little boys.  it’s just funny how predictable their comments get and even more predicable how my comments have gotten. 

we did an impromptu photo shoot today when finn insisted that they all sit next to him on the step.  as i was editing photos tonight i laughed when i realized that if i saw a family of five girls i would probably make all the exact same comments! 

well, time to go do my nightly rounds to make sure all of my little toe headed, cookie cutter, clothes sharing, mitt romney wanna be basketball team is tucked in.

 

 

goodnight.