Deep in the Heart of Texas

I have spent the last few weeks frantically preparing and over preparing for a new venture.  I have taken the plunge and walked away from a full time job, benefits and a guaranteed pay check.  This is hard to type as it doesn't look like the best idea when I see it in print.  Although most of my best ideas don't.

If you have followed this blog for any amount of time you have probably read between the lines or actually even just read the lines and can see that staying home with the boys has always been a siren that is calling to me.  That being said, I am now a stay home mom... a stay home mom with a twist. 

Our current plan will allow me to stay home for weeks on end but pick up some consulting work every now and then (when I run out of money).  My first gig came a bit quicker than I anticipated though.  I was only home about two weeks between my last day at my current job and the day I flew out.  This was not enough time to prepare the boys and Scott to spend 17 days without me. 

I prepped and I prepped and I prepped.  The family closet is labeled, the shoes are labeled, the supplies are labeled, the back up supplies are labeled and the labels are labeled.  Some of the last minute preps were really for my peace of mind, not theirs.  In my mind, I knew things would just work out fine it I went through and added a few more smiley faces on my lists of steps or if I hid another spare key or if I left one more surprise note for the boys to find.  When I wasn't prepping, I was researching tactics for leaving your children home while on business trips.  I got lots of great advice and implemented it.  We have calendars, postcards, a paper chain and several other recommended processes for helping the boys cope and understand that I will be back and am still accessible. 

I write this blog from Texas, far far from home.  I am sitting in a giant hotel room, in a king bed that just doesn't seem the same without several little boys fighting me for another inch of space or drooling on  my pillow.  Today I am in a good place emotionally.  I worried about that.  I talk to the boys often and am looking forward to Skyping with them soon. 

I fully intend to nurse my little Huckleberry when I return so my milk supply is on my to do list including a timer that goes off every four hours to remind me that I best be finding a nook to tuck away and hide in while pumping.  Pumping is a coping skill for me.  It reminds me of when Huck was in the NICU.  During a time when I had no control, pumping was productive and helpful to him.  It was the one thing I felt I could do to.  breast milk and travel logistics are just a bit messy.  I have been very creative thus far and have no plans of losing my milk supply while on this trip, even if that means pumping in strange places, storing my breast milk all over Texas like a squirrel hiding nuts, or nursing a cowboy baby... just kidding.

More than a few of my conversations have started off with, "Hi, I'm Erin.  I will be your consultant for the next 17 days.  Is there any chance I could stick some breast milk in your freezer?"  So at the end of my trip I will be gathering up my supply and trying to fly home with it.  Wish me luck. 

I'm a bit worried that I may be picking up an accent.  I found myself mimicking some of the staff that I've been working with and I't only been 24 hours.  If that's the worst thing I bring back from Texas, I suppose it'll be ok.

On that note, I've been up now for 28 hours and it's time to close my eyes and get some sleep. 

Ya'll come back now, ya hear?

I will be in Texas for the next 17 days.  I have lots of extra help and some super specials visitors lined up for the boys the next two weeks.  This will no doubt be an adventure, maybe more for them than me!  So far so good though. 

because

 

 

because scott believes that the boys need to learn to become informed contributing members of society

because paul ryan was in town

because i wanted a photo op

 

because little boys still have homework even when potential vice presidents come to town

because there was a little down time while waiting for paul

 

because forgetting your collar shirt is not an excuse to avoid the camera

because these memories will last a lifetime especially when captured in my lense

 

 

 

because mitt has five boys too

because scott believes that the boys need to learn to become informed contributing members of society

prompt 21

writer’s block tonight…

so it’s off to a writer’s block website to randomly pick a prompt…

 

Describe some of the organizations or clubs you belonged to as a child

 

 

the first two organizations that come to mind are 4-H and girl scouts. 

 

girlscouts

 

allow me to start with girlscouts.  it was short lived.  i have very few memories of my girl scouting days.  they are as follows:

referring to our troop leader maxine as maxi pad behind her back and getting busted by her

having my mom drive me half way across the state to the girl scout camp that we probably couldn’t afford only to have a near panic attack when we arrived over the homesickness i was sure i would develop during the course of the week.  thinking quickly, my mother forced my sister to go in my place, living out of my suitcase for a week and hanging out with my best friend

having my best friend resent me for a long time for abandoning her with the enemy, my sister

feeling bad as i looked at pictures of them together making camp memories wearing the matching outfits that we had packed

lastly, finally getting brave enough to go to a camp, cross country ski winter camp

deciding i hated cross country skiing and climbing atop the outhouse in protest but discovering french bread pizza a love that would last a lifetime

 

4-H

 

performing in two of the most memorable group dances of my life.  both equally blackmailable material

dancing to a new kid’s on the block song, hang in tough, with my brother

winning that competion

realizing it was humiliating but realizing it was too late because now we had to perform on the state level at the state fair in front of about a bajillion more people. 

doing fairly well at the state level and being documented fully on the front page of a very popular wisconsin newspaper to last as evidence for a lifetime

learning another dance, a can can style, taught to me by a lovely small town goat farmer, the goat farmer who also taught me to milk a goat which i learned later is not the same as milking your own breasts, useless stupid skill. 

going to the fair with garden items that my parents had planted, taken care of, harvested, cleaned and prepared for the fair only to win first place and take all the credit

summer 4-h camp where i developed a serious interest in boys

summer 4-h camp where i met some very interesting boys

summer 4-h camp where we danced to achey breay heart and i’ve got friends in low places and it was actually cool

bad 4-h games at the monthly meetings and even worse refreshments

attempting to learn a pledge but never being successful

barbara hauerberg

the county fair where i could meet up with i could meet up with boys that i had met over the years at summer 4-h camp

 

 

funny this prompt comes up today.  we are on the eve of our first official cub scout campout.  i am still a cub scout newb in all senses of the word.  i struggle with the cub scout promise, i know none of the terminology.  i don’t recall if our leader is called the denmother, the grand pooba, the wolfman or the denmaster.  i will be sure to bring you the play by play from what is certain to be an entertaining weekend.

goodnight.

man caves and folding tables

scott has always wanted a man cave.  our new house may finally allow for that, not because it’s so large, but because the layout is so strange.  scott does a great deal of the laundry, well let’s be honest.  scott does all of the laundry.  it was a task he picked up during my sabbatical from household chores while i trudged thorough nursing school.  after i graduated and we reassessed our responsibilities and approach to household tasks, he still won this one.  no, i’m not a feminist power working woman that demands he does menial tasks around the house.  it’s just that in all reality when you have a large family tasks need to be divided.  we analyzed our strengths and weaknesses and determined that i was a better homework helper and he would rather do laundry than follow tommy around and remind him that he should be doing his homework roughly every 30 seconds while walking gavin through a long division math problem across the room while holding petey on his lap so that he can watch you hold finn’s hand and help him make the two rainbows at the end of his name.  multi tasking and persistence and the patience of a saint weren't his forte, so laundry it was.  of all the icky household tasks scott seems to like laundry the most.  it’s always predictable, it’s located in a much quieter part of the house and he get’s to spend time in his man cave.  sometimes i’ll see him disappear down the hallway with his shopping cart (not kidding, we actually own one) full of laundry and his little portable radio.  scott and glenn (beck) will go do laundry together somewhere in the back of the house in another world with the peace of the dryer humming and the fresh scent of scott’s favorite detergent. 

so scott is getting a man cave.  traditional? no, but functional? yes.  scott’s man cave will not have a recliner, sports memorabilia or a wet bar, but a freezer full of my latest stock up coupon items, a sewing machine, the entire family wardrobe, and the single, but desperately seeking a mate, sock bucket.  yes, scott’s man cave is actually a multi purpose space.  it’s the laundry room/utility room/sewing room/family closet and most recently dedicated, man cave. 

it will take some time to complete due to the fact that i never go out and buy everything we will need for a project and complete it in 48 hours.  i will slowly collect, then repair, then place each item in it’s new home.  when you have a budget of $13.38 (and i just spent 12 of it) for the entire man cave remodel things move slowly.  but, i’ve started.  the central piece of furniture was to be scott’s folding table.  shouldn’t every man cave have a table designated solely to folding laundry?  he’s so spoiled.  i found the perfect table weeks ago.  perfect except the price.  those of you who know me or follow my blog know that i am not a fan of actually having to purchase any of my project items.  it is much more satisfying to be able to tell someone it was free.  i was thrifting my way to my aunt’s house the other day and happened upon the table.  it was listed at a whopping $18.00 but I was confident I could get her down to $15.  i pointed out the discoloration on the top, knowing full well i would paint it, and the clerk agreed.  not much you can do about that she commented, such a shame.  she offered me the table for $12.  more than fair i thought and smiled as the thrift store stock boy loaded me up. 

 

 

i was not a fan of anything but the shape of the table.  in the coming days i broke it to scott that i had spent money at the thrift shop again today and that i bought him something (scott does not usually share my passion for thrift store finds especially when i buy things for him), and that it was heavy and i needed help getting it out of my truck, and that he would have to put it together and that it was for him to fold laundry on and that it would go in his man cave and that his man cave was actually going to be in the laundry room.

i took my time telling him all of this of course.  wouldn’t want to overwhelm him or with all the good news. 

 

 

first step of course was the standard bleach and water scrub, rest in the sun and then a bit of goo gone to remove the stubborn tape marks from the not so crafty thrift store folks who thought it would be a great idea to use shipping tape to affix the legs to the top of the table.  i turned this into a life skill lesson for the boys.  they all practiced applying goo gone to their own designated sticky spot and removing it with their own washcloth.  their wives better appreciate me one day.  in the last week, many of my boys have been checked off in goo gone application, electric hurricane shutter operation, breast pump set up and application and safe handling and storage of breast milk.  they will be so well balanced, or maybe just weird, but never the less, i never miss an opportunity to teach them something.

 

 

after drying the table thoroughly, but actually not.  we applied the first coat.  one particularly eager student attempted to get checked off on his spray paint application skills but was quickly sent back for remedial training.  he pouted when i explained that he wasn’t really ready for a project of this caliber and trudged back to his cheap black spray paint and his piece of scrap plywood.  sorry tommy, maybe you can retest on the next project but keep up the good practice. 

 

 

i will have the most beautifully colored pea gravel patio in the neighborhood.  the beauty of this ground cover is when we finish a project i simply send the boys through to scatter and redistribute the stones and it looks normal again.  i love skipping the actual ground cloth step. 

 

 

as my first coat dried it became apparent that i had actually sprayed over several drops of water.  this did not allow the paint to adhere and actually caused me a great deal of grief.  i had to sand each spot once it dried.  i burnt my thumb in the process and i wasn’t even using an electric sander.  i’m just that fast, super impressive i know. 

 

with the water spots sanded it was time to dust off the table and give it another coat.  then it was time to go to home depot and pick up another can of matching paint because i ran out. 

 

 

i made several little boys turn my table up on end so i could get the bottom of the legs.

 

 

 

as usual, when we get near the end scott finally sees my vision coming to life and offers to help.  as usual, i took him up on his enthusiasm and allowed him to give a shortl seminar on the polyurethane application process.  the boys were not impressed, not only was it boring and colorless, it stunk.

 

   

 

after a nice coat of polyurethane and a few hours of drying in the sun, the little table came to life.  i decided not to rough up the edges on this project the way i usually do.  the clean blue lines appealed to us as we marveled over just how clever i was.

      

before

 

 

after

i think we did this guy some justice and i hope gave him a little make over for his next life.  this table will enjoy the company of scott and glenn beck in the man cave and provide a surface to fold lots and lots of laundry for lots and lots of years to come. 

note for those of you who read the other day’s gracie post:  the dog just flew through the living room chasing that cat.  who let that cat in?!?  

tombstones

 

 

 

amazing what one can do with a sheet of styrofoam and a can or two of 97 cent spray paint.  I’ll be sure to post the step by step guide soon but couldn’t wait to post a photo of these beauties.  If things don’t work out with my current position, I think tombstone designer may be a good plan B.

gracie

 

 

gracie is a cat that came with the neighborhood or maybe the neighborhood came with gracie

 

she introduced herself the first day we moved in

 

tortoise shell and extra fluffy

 

gracie hung out in our sunroom for the first few days

 

she used the broken screen to enter and exit as she pleased

 

i thought she was a stray

 

we gave her a food bowl that stayed in the sunroom and even a cardboard box to have her kittens in since she seemed so nesty

 

she was not pregnant and has never had kittens

 

gracie demands attention yet she wants none

 

if i ignore her, she climbs up my leg and bites me

 

if i crouch down and call her, she completely ignores me

 

she is not photogenic

 

she is a gorgeous cat although no photo i have taken yet could actually prove that

 

gracie climbs trees

 

gracie taunts dogs on leashes

 

many mornings i have to manually remove her off the roof of my truck

 

gracie sneaks in my house any chance she gets

 

i woke to find her in my kitchen on more than one occasion, kind of stephen king like

 

after getting to know the neighbors a bit gracie soon came up in conversation

 

everyone seems to have the same experiences with her

 

i wasn’t the only one who was feeding her

 

i wasn’t the only one petting her

 

i wasn’t the only one cuddling with her

 

i wasn’t the only one getting bit by her

 

i wasn’t the only one waking up to find her in my house

 

gracie has several families that have adopted her or maybe that she has adopted

 

gracie is a cat that came with the neighborhood or maybe the neighborhood came with gracie

chairs

my favorite way to end the day is sitting in a chair on the front porch with my best friend, whom I'm conveniently married to.  i like it most when the boys are running around as the breeze picks up and the sun dies down.  when we moved to our new (very old) house, the chairs that once sat on my front porch moved to the backyard.  i have no front porch now.  so enjoyable evenings watching the boys gallivant around were no more and i was sad.  i started watching for new chairs for the front yard.  with no front porch to speak of the new chairs would need to sit in the grass.  i wanted Adirondack chairs but did not want to spend $80 on them and i was not a fan of the plastic ones.  so i watched and waited.  then last week, i finally found the perfect chairs, cheap, wooden and super comfy.  we purchased two.

 

  

 

petey spent some time sitting in my best friend’s chair while he watched him put mine together.  i love color and knew i wanted them to be bright.  so naturally…

 

 

my best friend brought me to home depot and i picked out some paint… 

 

 

some yellow paint.  yellow was the winning color. 

 

 

and so it began.  we painted together.  i always love the first stroke of any painting project, but by the 20th, i’m done.  luckily, my best friend is persistent and a bit of a workaholic.

 

 

my best friend painted the big areas and i painted the little areas and my forearm and my right foot.  my best friend painted in a pair of good jogging shorts like he always does and ruined yet another pair.  grrrrrrrr…..  but alas we were done. 

 

fast forward a day or two and it was saturday night.  saturday nights are particularly special when we are not at the cottage because all the neighborhood boys run in a pack, mine included, from yard to yard playing tag and something called man hunter and hide and seek.  i was so excited as my taco meat simmered on the stove last night just thinking about once again being able to sit in my chair in the front yard and watch the boys play as dusk rolled in. 

 

 

and so it was a fiesta/picnic/date/family night all in one.  it was wonderful.  i forgot napkins so my best friend and i dripped taco juice on the grass and wiped sour cream on our pajamas. 

 

 

we discreetly ate our tacos, or as discreetly as one can when eating big overstuffed sloppy tacos, until the boys slowly noticed and came over for bites.  like seagulls we fed them bits and pieces and threw passing boys a taco or two.  it was as enjoyable as i’d imagined our first evening in our chairs to be.  in our new mayberry like neighborhood in our bright yellow chairs.  my best friend and i can’t wait to do this again. 

pumping or attempting to

i am an optimistic person and can almost always find a silver lining or a way to claim that technically the glass is still half full, but yesterday i had an experience that i could not spin.  it’s circumstances like these that can lead to hundreds of women showing up at a target store unannounced to simultaneously nurse their babies without appropriate coverage just to prove a point.  most of the following events were more my lack of preparation than crimes of the inconsiderate man but let me remind you that nursing women are hormonal, passionate and impulsive.  you best not cross between a mama and her cubs or you may get attacked.  although i refrained from attacking anyone, i am still reeling from yesterday’s events.

i was scheduled to assist with an epic (the computer program i train medical personnel on) class at a local college

i’ve taught here before and assumed it would be no problem

i have not taught here since the arrival of huck and starting my new hobby… pumping

i arrived and assisted with the first portion of the class

in no time i could feel the pressure

time to pump

i let my co-worker know i was stepping out to pump

back in ten minutes i promised

this would prove to be a gross understatement

left the class

noticed i did not have my pump

walked to first floor, two miles across hot parking lot to truck

located pump

located leftover walnut fudge from breakfast

ate fudge, carried pump and walked two miles back to building

briskly walked to first floor bathroom to pump

sat down

opened pump

looked for outlet

found none

packed up pump

left bathroom

stopped at front desk to inquire about new lactation room a student had mentioned

no one at front desk

picked up phone

called main campus number

patiently navigated through menu full prompts

sighed when “press six for inquiries on lactation suite” was not an option

time elapsed: 8 minutes

finally made contact

inquired about location of pumping room

explained to wanda what pumping was and why it may be needed

“when a woman has a baby…”

waited while wanda searched her email regarding new pumping room

was transferred to jim in security to have pumping room unlocked

sighed as jim asked what pumping was

substituted the word lactation for pumping

sighed as jim remained confused

“when a woman has a baby…”

asked about location

was told secret location of pumping room

second floor room 221

thanked security

agreed to meet outside of pumping room

time elasped 11 minutes

raced up stairs and wound through hallways until 221 was located

perused 12 years worth nursing class photos (as i was ironically located in the nursing building)

noted that room 221 was the obstetrics sim lab (practice area for student nurses to simulate labor and
delivery i assume)

noted that this was a clever use of resources and real estate

waited 10 minutes for security

no security

called wanda again to inquire about the status of security

navigated through prompts

reached my friend wanda

requested to be transferred to jim

request denied

was told to call jim directly

was given jim’s extension

looked at my cell phone realizing that an extension number was no good from an outside phone

decided that security extension number (four digit) would probably work if prefaced with three digit
main campus number

started to feel the anxiety bubbling up from my stomach

started to feel milk leaking down my stomach

placed call

man on other end: beverly hills how can i help you

me:ha ha, it’s erin again, so sorry to bug you again but i really need to get back to my class

man on other end: what do you need?

me: i need the pumping room unlocked

man on other end: the what?

me:pumping room

man on other end: what are you pumping?

me: when a woman has a baby…

man on other end: i’ll make you a deal, i’ll unlock it if you promise to let me watch

me: …..what?!?

man on other end: honey, i think you got the wrong number, this is a mobile tinting business

me:  sorry, thanks

time elasped 24 minutes

called wanda back and insisted she transfer me

security: we can’t be waiting for you all day

me: i mean no offense, but i can’t be waiting for you

security:we’ll be right there

me: ok

looked at more nursing photos

noted the difference of timeless hairstyles vs trend hairstyles

noted that there is a third category called bad hair

noted that i fit into third category

felt guilty for not going on to school to get my rn

started to feel anxious again

started thinking of alternative places to pump in the event that security never shows

considered requirement for location

wants: privacy needs: outlet

waited 10 more minutes for security with no results

time elapsed: 34 minutes

checked both upstairs women’s bathrooms for outlets

none

raced downstairs, check both women’s bathrooms for outlets

none

considered not pumping…

not an option…

pumping moms know that pumping is already a slippery slope

missing pumping appointments will result in a serious breast milk drought

cursed my electric pump

remembered several years ago cursing my battery operated super wimpy pump

took a deep breath

opened the door to the men’s bathroom and scan for outlets

none

raced to other downstairs men’s bathroom

apologized to man exiting not really meaning it

entered

scanned for outlets

none

raced upstairs

wiped my sweat mustache on my shirt

checked both men’s bathrooms located on opposite ends of building for outlets

none

started checking classrooms

frantically ran door to door

finally found an open one

privacy? nope

outlet? yes

started fumbling with pump bag and the nearest outlet

said a prayer that no students walk in

students walked in

me:  i’m all done with my electrical checks your instructor should be here shortly

considered telling them that there’s a pop quiz coming

decided toying with college students wass not my priority here

reminded myself that breast milk is a use it or lose it system

noted that i am currently not using it

worried that i am slipping out of tune with huck every day i'm away from him

felt guilty

raced down the hallway

realized i didn’t even know where i was racing to

wished i was amish because they probably don’t use eclectic pumps

concluded that they probably don’t even use pumps

why? because they are not epic trainers

started to cry when i thought about the lucky amish moms who get to stay home and nurse their
babies anytime they want

wished i was amish

subconsciously raced to the women’s bathroom and found myself in the handicapped stall

65 degrees, fluorescent lights, sitting on the toilet while another toilet continuously flushes due to some plumbing problem

remembered seeing or hearing somewhere that some women manually express milk

took a deep breath

took out milk collection bottle

pulled up underwire

took another deep breath

conjured up an image of huck crying

took another deep breath

waited for milk to start pouring out, the way it does when  i'm shopping in the store or when i walk
into the nicu full of crying babies

nothing

stared at my breasts and willedl them, begged them to start dripping

nothing

thought of farmers milking their cows

rolled my eyes at myself

tried to relax

looked at the clock

panicked

time elapsed: 42 minutes

started milking for lack of a better word

realized i was clenching my jaw and had aching shoulders from the tension

remembered learning how to milk a goat at twelve years old from my 4H dance teacher

applied same principles

barely a drop

agreed with my paranoid imaginary friends that this is not going to work

packed up and start running down the hallway again

started checking stairwells and other low profile areas

found another open classroom

considered taking my chances again

decided it was not worth the risk, students where everywhere

was drawn to a corner

a corner containing the world’s shortest extension cord

grabbed extension cord

remembered seeing a bathroom downstairs with an outlet in the hallway near the door

decided i better make some signs

borrowed two sheets of paper and a marker

ran downstairs

plugged in my extension cord in the hallway

measured the distance to the women’s and then to the men’s bathroom

men’s was closer… figures

scribbled one sign to place near the plug

sign one: please do not unplug

placed one sign near the door where a passerby might see:

sign two: seriously, do not ask, this is awkward enough!

extension cord reached to the door, barely

had to plug my ac adaptor in and then snake cord under door (this left ac adaptor on the outside of the door)

snuck inside

had to sit on the floor of the men’s bathroom

laid out my sterile field or as close as i could get it

plugged ac adaptor into pump

angels sang out as my little pump started to hum

hooked up in record time

closed my eyes and pretended i was anywhere but where i was

finished pumping

spilled an entire bottle of milk on the floor

sighed

agreed that there was nothing sanitary about this milk anyway

dumped the other bottle into the urinal

washed my pump

washed my hands

raced back upstairs

returned world’s shortest extension cord

left the signs on it just to make the next person wonder

jogged back to my classroom

took a deep breath

smiled

opened the door

picked up where i left off assisting the students

“yes, scan the patient and the mar will open automatically”

wondered if there were any security cameras in the hallways or possibly some of the classrooms

giggled when i thought of security reviewing the tapes and wondering what this crazed woman with
the small black backpack was doing

after leaving the college i called miss tammie to find out how little huckleberry was doing. 

found out that we are more in tune than i thought

precisely as i was dumping over a bottle of milk onto the men’s bathroom floor miss tammie was dumping an entire bottle of milk down huck’s onesie during an unfortunate bottle malfunction….

i pledge allegiance

 

 

one tiny part of scott’s master plan for our new (very old) house was achieved today.  scott may not be passionate about a long list of things, but his country is one of them.  he has wanted to hang a flag in our front yard for many years.  i intended to surprise him for his birthday this year, but he asked while we were in home depot the other day and who was i to say no?  scott’s man cave is the laundry room, he watches dora and diego instead of sports and doesn’t know what it’s like to sleep past six am so if he’s a good boy in the store and wants a flag, a flag he shall have.  scott had many volunteers willing climb up the ladder and hang his new flag.

 

 

after attempts by all it became apparent that gavin was the only one coordinated and brave enough to climb all the way up.  note that scott is wearing his official target bag gloves designed to protect his precious flag.  you see, scott had just finished painting some new adirondack chairs for me and he tends to get a good deal of paint on himself while doing these projects.  we wouldn’t want yellow paint all over our new flag and i am far too frugal to pay for real rubber gloves.

 

 

gavin stretched into the air to attach the final clip as the little boys gazed up in amazement.  at scouts the boys are practicing flag ceremonies and the expectations regarding respect of our flag.  we discussed this again and it was a learning opportunity for all. 

 

 

and so they gathered and said the pledge… fifteen times.  pete even rode over to join in.  this year we’ve had to memorize so many thing; the cub scout promise, the glory be, multiplication facts specifically the 11’s, the hail mary, the law of the pack and the apostles creed.  somewhere along the lines things must have blended together a little because i saw more than a few of them finish the pledge of allegiance with the sign of the cross.

 

 

so tonight our front yard is adorned with our reverent new flag and scott’s facebook page is adorned with this reverent new photo.   

step stool

with an ever growing family it seems we outgrow so many areas in our house.  one of the most annoying areas that we no longer fit is the dining room table.  it doesn’t help that two of our dining room chairs are out of commission for various reasons.  for weeks, we have been sitting on an array of other objects to make up for our missing chairs and it’s getting old. 

driving the boys to school the other morning i spied a must have salvage in someone's trash. 

 

 

this beauty.  now who could pass this up?  with little boys that love to climb up and help in the kitchen or get the craft supplies down from the high shelf for their little brothers, i have always wanted a step stool like this one. 

 

 

there was no denying it, with the condition this guy was in, i was going to have to hide it from scott until it was well on it’s way to being refurbished.  scott always appreciates the final product but just not the journey. if things are in particularly rough condition sometimes he lacks the imagination it takes to see the value.

 

 

 

after hauling it home, we got right to work.  it started with our usual bleach and water scrub down followed by a full day in the sun which once again i am convinced kills any real germs.  some naval jelly to dissolve the rust.  note to anyone considering using naval jelly, it will not only eat rust, but also the skin off your hands.

 

we did some scrubbing with the steel brush, sandpaper and steel wool.  it’s helpful to have a team that will take turns on items that require a lot of sanding.  sanding is not fun.

 

next was time for some spray paint but first i had to cover the rubber mat to protect it.  my only available scrap paper was tommy’s homework from last week.  it worked quite well and also got to serve another purpose before finding it’s way to the recycle bin.

 

at this point i felt the condition was good enough that i could reveal it to scott.  as usual, he jumped right in and agreed to help.  he offered to do the first coat of spray paint. 

 

i wanted a dark undercoat so i could later see it through the top coat.

 

 

next was the top coat, off white to match the dining room furniture.

 

 

while one of the coats of paint was drying i turned my attention to the cushion which was in very rough shape.  i choose to leave the original vinyl in place.  my plan was to cover it with a new piece of fabric.

 

i always pick up extra fabric at old time pottery when they have sales.  i have a color scheme in mind for each room so i try to pick up several patterns in coordinating colors so that when a project like this comes along, i not only have fabric to use, but matching fabric.  i had this scrap lying around from a previous project.

 

after cutting it to size i simply used a standard cubicle issued stapler to staple it onto the existing pad.

 

  

 

it turned out rather charming.

 

 

after several coats of the off white, it was time to rough up the edges and let that black undercoat peek through simulating the years of wear and abuse that this step stool actually had received.  this will also hide any additional marks that the boys will no doubt add.

 

the wear and tear was easy to simulate with some aggressive rubbing of steel wool.  the cushion was reattached.

 

 

the final product turned out like this.  kind of cute i think. 

the boys have already deemed this their favorite piece of furniture.  i find it in every room.  sometimes it’s just the extra chair but also has been used to hold up the end of a makeshift tent, to reach confiscated items back down from the top of the entertainment center and as a diving platform for poor auggie when the boys decided to play circus yesterday.  what was once destined for the trash heap will get a few more miles and a few more memories on it around here. 

canned answers

 

 

walking by the bleachers filled with families at the pool

navigating through the produce section at my favorite grocery store

mingling with other church goers as we pack up the church bag after the closing hymn

 

i see someone watching us out of the corner of my eye

and i know they will most likely approach

and i already know what they will say

because i am rarely surprised by what people say anymore

I've only been the mother of five boys for a short time, but already my answers flow without even thinking

sometimes the boys even answer for me or most recently offer comments that have been previously said about them

i heard finn the other day say to the grocery bagger, “we have five boys, that’s a basketball team”

 

if you were to see me out and about with all the boys in tow, you might be tempted to say one of the following

I've included my standard canned answer just in case you were wondering

 

wow, five boys

me: yep (making sure i put on my best smile even if I'm not feeling it)

 

wow, that’s enough for a basketball team

me: yep (same smile although would it really make sense to have a team ranging from age 10 down to newborn? I think not)

 

wow, i bet you have a big house

me: not really, we like being close

 

wow, i bet your grocery bill is big

me: (holding up coupons) yep, that’s why i shop like this

 

wow, you must be catholic

me: yep

 

wow, just like Mitt Romney

me:

Scott: yes, just like Mitt.  We’re conservatives.  I assume you are as well.  Do you listen to Glenn Beck?  I like your bumper sticker.  We can’t find the Catholics for Romney sticker, where did you get yours?  Did you know there’s a Tea Party rally coming up?  Wanna go together…

 

wow, all toe heads

me:yep (still no idea what this phrase really means or even how to spell it)

 

wow, cookie cutter children

me: yep, then go into one of two family anecdotes, either the baptism photo one or the ultrasound one depending on my mood

 

wow, twins?

me: nope, just close in age

 

wow, quads?

me: (looking confused… seriously?) nope, just close in age

 

wow, you have your hands full

me: yep

 

wow, no girls? really?

me: nope

 

wow, five boys, are you trying for the girl?

me: nope

 

wow, five boys? my son had fill in blank boys.

me: any grand daughters now?

 

wow, five boys? that’s nothin!  i know this one family that had fill in the blank boys

me: wow

 

wow, five boys?  at least you can pass the clothes down

me: yep

 

wow, give boys? GOD bless you

me: he has

 

i don’t want to give the impression that it ever gets old or on my nerves that people seek me out just to comment on the boys and our family.  it’s an honor really even when we have somewhere to get to or someone has to go potty and i really don’t have five minutes to chat about my lovely brood.  today at church we sat in the front pew and after church there was actually a short line of even shorter little old ladies that came up to bless our family and marvel over all the little boys.  it’s just funny how predictable their comments get and even more predicable how my comments have gotten. 

we did an impromptu photo shoot today when finn insisted that they all sit next to him on the step.  as i was editing photos tonight i laughed when i realized that if i saw a family of five girls i would probably make all the exact same comments! 

well, time to go do my nightly rounds to make sure all of my little toe headed, cookie cutter, clothes sharing, mitt romney wanna be basketball team is tucked in.

 

 

goodnight.

onions

 

 

i miss this.  at the old house i never kept my onions in the frige no did i ever buy onions. 

whenever i needed an onion, i would simply send a boy out to the backyard to pull one.  we had a fantastic pull one plant one routine going on.  the chosen little boy would take his time deciding on the best onion to pull, yank it out of the ground and pull a replacement onion set out of his pocket.  he would then drop the tiny new onion set into the hole left by his newly picked mature onion as rehearsed with his mother.  this little boy would usually bring his freshly picked onion in through the back door, greens, dirt and all and swing it wildly though the living room sprinkling my compost all over the room before dropping it as requested into the sink for me. 

i would rinse it and peel it and cut off the greens dropping the scraps into the compost bucket which would then be sent back out to the back yard by another little boy.  i miss that

fresh onions are beautiful.  i am reminded of my 4h days whenever i trim fresh onions.  i often step back and judge them when i have trimmed and peeled them.  often times i award them a blue ribbon in my imaginary county fair.  this is why i have 67 photos of onions on my computer at all different stages of the planting, growing, picking, cleaning, cutting, cooking and composting. 

i paid $2.99 last week for two pounds of yellow onions that i will use up within about two weeks.  i paid $1.79 for a bag of onion sets last year that lasted me for six months.

i don’t have a garden at the new house yet.  lots of things seemed to be priorities when we first moved in, but now i am realizing that had i planted things immediately upon moving in, we would be harvesting by now.  on the other hand, i remind myself that i was 8 months pregnant and surrounded with boxes to unpack when we moved in. 

i have selected the area that i will start converting into my garden, purchased soil and even have a few plants to go along with the hundreds of seeds ready to go in the ground.  i just need to find the time, inspiration and energy to get it done.

i am going to attempt an in ground garden for the first time in florida.  i have always done well with raised beds but for my kitchen garden here at this house i want to see if i can avoid the raised bed theme.  i plan to grow all my herbs, onions, garlic and tomatoes just steps from my door so that i can seamlessly harvest and cook. 

of course before i have even started this garden, i am busy planning the rest of them.  i’ve been fascinated for the last year or so with urban gardens and permaculture and the possibility of growing a large percentage of what we eat instead of buying it.  we have a relatively constant growing season although rather poor soil quality. 

instead  of dreaming about what i don’t have and blogging about what i miss, i should really just be out there making it happen right now.  but i’m comfy and it’s raining out and huck is nursing so i think i will just have to wait till tomorrow to make that happen.

goodnight world.

sweet dreams of onions and blue ribbons

today

 

 

woke up to spanish music blaring on the alarm clock

woke scott up barking at him to hit the snooze

rolled over and snuggled with sweet baby huck

took an elbow to the nose from a not so sweet preschooler

dropped gavin and tommy at the bus stop

made small talk with the man who leases out his front yard as the neighborhood bus stop

found out that the man has no choice and really doesn’t care for kids

dropped petey and huck off at miss tammie’s

dropped my cell phone

drove finn to vpk

finn drove me up to wall with his constant chatter

took advantage of a bit of extra time before work

took advantage of clearance rack at walgreens

bought creamed corn for 64 cents

bought cody rhodes wrestling figure for gavin for 2.74

knew cody rhodes would cause feelings of jealousy amongst the boys

bought three clearanced foam airplanes for the other brothers

bought a halloween edition nestles crunch

arrived for work at the hospital

same hospital where 6 short weeks ago huck was delivered

reported to the bat cave for duty

waited 4 hours for the bat phone to ring

made an appointment at employee health for stupid sinus infection

leaked

pumped

was saved by a co-worker when some tech boys attempted to enter my makeshift pumping room while i was pumping

apologized to tech boys for not picking a room with a door to pump in

marveled at the fact that the bat cave has about 27 rooms and i pump in the only room without a real door

washed pump parts at a sink that clearly stated it was out of order

went to the cafeteria

ate a fish sandwich with cheese

assisted labor and delivery with a technical issue

resolved technical issue and

ran into the nurse that delivered huck

ran into the director that offered me a job during my labor

walked past 3311, the room where huck was delivered

visited the nicu

thought of huck

leaked

obtained nine new pacifiers from the nicu to replace the nine pacifiers that auggie has eaten

returned to bat cave

signed in at employee health

took employee health lady’s coupons

realized that i had made appointment at the wrong campus

begged employee health lady to squeeze me in anyway

was dumbfounded when asked to state the date of my last period

got prescription for antibiotics

got prescription for claritin

picked up gavin from violin

presented cody rhodes

made him promise not to tell his brothers about cody rhodes

told him to hide cody rhodes in his backpack

fought traffic all the way to miss tammie’s

reminded gavin to keep cody rhodes hidden

picked up rest of boys

was disappointed to find out that cody rhodes made an appearance before we left miss tammie’s driveway

pulled over less that a block from miss tammie’s to settle a fight over cody rhodes

fought traffic all the way home

realized i failed to pick up my prescriptions

nursed huck

did some math calulations

marvalled at the fact that for the past two days, huck has drank exactly, to the mililiter, the amount of milk i’ve pumped each day

burped huck

cursed my sinus pain

cursed cody rhodes

cursed my underwire bra

cursed my super frugal ways

acknowledged that i should have coughed up the money ten years ago to buy a nursing bra, i most certainly would have gotten my money’s worth

waited for scott to get home

went to the grocery store for soda and beer

walked though a monsoon in the parking lot

bought ten pounds of ground beef

bought 1 bottle of balsamic vinegar

forgot to buy soda and beer

was recognized by three of the store employees as “the coupon lady”, “the coupon girl”, and the “macaroni and cheese family”

used coupons acquired at employee health

loaded my groceries in the rain

drove home through a flash flood

patiently received my political update for the day

nodded appropriately

liked Catholics for romney on facebook in exchange for scott unloading my groceries in the rain

nursed huck

burped huck

questioned my decision of making my political views known on facebook

decided not to ever post anything political again on facebook

posted something slightly political to test the waters

giggled as auggie humped my mother in law’s left ankle

cringed as auggie humped my left ankle

smiled when scott teared up while watching undercover boss

smiled when finn finally fell asleep on my lap still arguing with me with his eyes closed

did not smile as petey appeared from the kitchen holding an assortment of donuts that he had taken bites of

contemplated what to feed the boys tomorrow morning now that their donuts are gone

had a bite of petey’s donut to help me think

sat down to blog

sat down on a fork

watched scott sweep as i fought a bit of writer’s block

fought back a smile as i watched auggie hump scott’s broom

started yawning

fought heavy eyelids while

stared at the spell check button

never hit it

realized that the photo i started with was not what i ended up blogging about

decided to add another completely unrelated photo to the end of the blog to even things out

hit the post button