suffering

Mostly I blog from photo inspiration.  Often times these photos have a recent experience woven into them that just begs to be written.  Sometimes though, I look at the photos from my most recent camera purging and nothing jumps out at me.  Plan B is to think about what’s happened in my life most recently that is causing me some sort of emotion.  Maybe I’m overwhelmed with being mommy this week or maybe I’m jumping into some exciting new hobby or most recently on the verge of dropping out of life to live in a quiet commune and raise my boys and home school them and hide them from the world (yeah, this never really materialized).  But when nothing is rattling around in my head threatening to take over unless I peck it out on the keyboard I have a plan C.  Some people get a daily joke delivered to them, some get their horoscope.  I get a creative writing theme to work on. 

Plan A and B fell through today so onto plan C.

Assignment: Make a list of 31 things that caused you great mental or physical discomfort this week.  Put them in no particular order and do not spell check them.  This is just a list, not a best seller.

Situations that caused me to suffer mentally or physically this week are as follows:

1.  Swimming at our first sanctioned swim meet and watching Gavin get disqualified because I explained to him how to touch the wall and perform a flip turn when in fact I was completely wrong.  This is probably why I am not a swim coach, or a swimmer for that reason.   
2.  Arriving at the pump to fill up gas and remembering that I threw my debit card in the garbage at work. 
3.  Digging throw the garbage at work to recover said debit card after driving through afternoon traffic.
4.  Tearing up when explaining to a mom at a swim meet how much it meant to my son when her teenage son was the single voice cheering him through his backstroke when his goggles fell off.  Can’t I ever say anything with out emotion spilling out anymore?  I hate that!
5.  Opening an envelope from the IRS. 
6.  Finding out that that my friends at the IRS would like $2000.00 more by next month.  Yeah, probably not.  Sorry.
7.  Hiding in the only semi quiet area today, my office, but sitting on the sofa on top of the dumped out monopoly game.  OUCH!
8.  Cleaning up poop three times today.  No more pooping!
9.  Washing the moldy lunch bag.
10. Having to pay $41.00 for 2 printer cartridges.  Who is getting rich here?  This is crazy.
11. Panicking during an interview while trying to recall the last five books I’ve read during an interview.  I can’t even remember not to throw out my own debit card.  What makes you think I can recall the last five books I’ve read.  Worst interview of my life.  Never felt more stupid.  Well, yeah I have, but it still really sucked.  Got the job though. 
12.  My new sinus problems. 
13.  Paying for stupid sinus medicine.  Must be made by the printer cartridge people because it costs almost as much.
14.  Agreeing not to go to the cottage this weekend and to stay home and clean instead.  Notice I’m not cleaning though.
15.  Trying to unsubscribe from stupid Yahoo group I joined that sends out a hundred emails a day.  Leave me alone.  I changed my mind.  I’m not interested in home canning anymore, not if it involves receiving 50 GOD forsaken emails a day.  No, no, no keep all your stupid canning secrets to yourself.
16.  Having my recovered debit card declined in the 7-11 because I was pumping gas at the same time I was attempting to purchase Gatorade. 
17.  Having clerk point out that it was illegal to allow the gas to pump unattended.
18.  Lying through my teeth explaining that it wasn’t unattended.  My husband was out there in the van laying down and was watching the pump.
19.  Watching clerk laugh at me as I walk out and fake conversation with my non existent husband and stop the gas.
20.  Losing right little toenail on ridiculously small shopping cart at Indian spice (or whatever that smell is) smelling natural food store. 
21.  Removing 7 wet moldy swim towels from my van.  Sometimes I hate Florida.
22.  Juicing and drinking Parsley.  Experimental purposes only, not by real choice.
23.  Cleaning stupid juicer afterwards.
24.  Getting honked at when I had no choice but to change three lanes at a time.  It’s not my fault, it was a bad road design.  Don’t honk at me. 
25.  Submitting an article, then reading it and finding an error after it was too late.  Argggggg…  I’m too impulsive. 
26.  Wearing an underwire bra (this should require no further explanation).
27.  Hearing the alarm clock.
28.  Finding a dead lizard in my bed.  Not the more tolerable dried and crispy version, an actual cold, moist, squishy one. 
29.  Defending the cats while my husband cursed them after unknowingly picking up the dead lizard in the dark.  That was meant to be a gift.  You are so unappreciative.
30.  Allowing Petey to have a full fledged temper tantrum on the deck of the pool while attempting to convince him I was oblivious to his crazy behavior and simultaneously attempting to convince all nearby adults, including the suspicious looking most likely under cover DCF woman, that I was indeed his loving mother and was attempting to teach him that this behavior did not have any power.
31.  Finn

So who cares what your horoscope read  or what your joke of the day is.  Today I want you to think about 31 reasons you feel bad for me and what you might be able to do to help me out this week and ease my suffering. Please put them in either alphabetical order or prioritize them and be sure to spell check.  This is not seventh grade creative writing with Mr. Lebouton.  You are an adult.  Be responsible with your words and your punctuation.  Please forward lists no later than midnight tonight.

Thank You,
Erin