Not Me Monday #2

In an effort to continue my Not Me Monday series, here is this week's list of things I certainly didn't do this week.

I didn't let the boys sleep on their bare mattresses last night without sheets.

I didn't forget to get my paperwork ready for my upcoming IRS audit and I certainly won't be scrambling to find it the night before the audit next week.

I didn't steal a light bulb out of the dining room chandelier because I was to lazy to go to the laundry room and get a new one for the living room lamp. That would be silly.

I didn't let Finn run around the backyard naked for four hours in an effort to "save a diaper"

I didn't clean up broken glass three times this week because my perfect angels broke a glass, a vase and a mixing bowl.

I would never take a Zumba class and watch the instructor's butt for the entire hour wondering how she could move like that and wishing I could.

I didn't let the boys eat an entire box of CheezIts for dinner while sitting on the sofa and I most certainly didn't brush all the florescent orange crumbs onto the floor before sitting down.

I didn't pretend not to notice Finn smearing yogurt onto the patio window because noticing would require yelling and I was really tired of yelling that day.

I didn't pick my child up early from school this week claiming he had a doctor's appointment just so we could spend a fun afternoon at home together.

I didn't buy Scott a shirt at the thrift shop this week and sneak it into his closet hoping he would just wear it and not question where it came from.

And lastly, this pack and play full of clean, but seriously wrinkled, laundry definitely does not belong to me!