nieces

One of our most treasured Christmas presents this year came from over 1200 miles away.  My sister in law and her two eldest daughters flew in from the frozen tundra.  We spent an entire day making Christmas candy together, something we never did when she lived less than a mile from our house.  We spent the whole week together eating and talking and laughing and catching up and reminiscing and relaxing.  Near the end of their vacation, we made it to the beach and took advantage of a photo opportunity.  I found this quote about nieces and it really fits well. 

Nieces are the children that we borrow,

intending not to raise

but merely love,

ever watchful from our open window,

caring deeply at a slight remove

everywhere you go,

my love will follow,

still part of you 

wherever you may live.

a moment of reflection

The boys picked out this car to ride home in after church the other day.  They were less than pleased when I scolded them for touching another person’s vehicle.  It’s amazing how often I find myself restating this rule.  Why is this a problem for us?  You would think it would be obvious, but nope.  Maybe I need to start pointing out other obvious rules in life like, don't lick the cat and don't put peanut butter in your hair. 
 

reflection: maybe I should have let them put their greasy little hands all over this flashy little convertible, after all, you don’t drive a car like this hoping not to get noticed, the idea is to draw attention to your car right?  Mission accomplished, we were interested.

 

Finn really wanted to stand and admire it.  He promised not to touch anymore so we stood there for about five minutes and I took lots of photos while he inched as close as possible without technically touching it.



reflection: maybe I shouldn’t have let Finn stand quite so close and maybe I shouldn’t have taken quite so many pictures as it made me look very suspicious and actually attracted the attention of the parking lot police man.  “Is that your car?” Nope, we’re actually the van over here.  I suppose he was just doing his job and so I opened the van door and tried to convince the little boys that convertible's weren't really that practical and vans are much safer.  This advice did little to convince them to step away from the car, but eventually they did wander back over to reality and join me in the slightly less flashy van.

my children should be models

Dear Talent Agent,

I would like to formally introduce you to my aspiring model son, Peter.  As you can see he is extremely photogenic and loves the camera.  Peter is available to start modeling for your agency anytime as, surprisingly, we have not signed any modeling contracts with other agencies yet.  I would suggest you act quickly due to the fact that our talent is in high demand at the moment and we have many interested agencies.  Pay is negotiable to a certain degree but keep in mind that it’s difficult to put a price on a face like this.  If interested, I also happen to have three other boys with similar talent including dirty fingernails, shaggy hair and Kool Aid mustaches. 

Thank you for your consideration

No need to Thank me for producing such beautiful children, it’s just what I do.

swim

We have traded in our head spin hats and all our break dancing clothes for some nice looking goggles and much tinier outfits. 

Slowly we are becoming swimmers

all evening the bigs swim back and forth...

while the littles cheer them on play with their toys...

 swimming...

and playing...

and swimming and so goes our evening...

They get to learn great swim skills and I get to reap the benefits of two very exhausted big boys

Coach Susan is so patient with the big boys...

and even more patient with some of the little boys...

maybe not as cool as break dancers

but certainly just as fun

We've recently advanced to the starting block where coach Susan tries tirelessly to undo the parenting I've done for the last eight years. 

"I promise it's gonna be OK to dive in headfirst" 

"I know your mom doesn't let you dive at Grandma's pool, but this is competitive swim" 

"Because Michael Phelps would be disqualified if he did a cannonball off the starting block" 

As you can see, head first we are not but having fun we are.  Since these photos were taken, we've advanced quite a bit.  Our dive angle has gone from feet first all the way to belly flop! 

Swim has been the most wonderful sport for certain boy children with waaaaay too much energy.  It's hard to get your self into trouble when your eyelids can't even stay open at the dinner table.  The boys love it and can't even wait for me to unload the little boys from the van when we arrive at the pool.  They run into the and are doing push ups and warm up exercises by the time I roll in with the strollers and the back packs.  I hope they continue to love it as much as they currently do.  Especially since I had to buy not one, but two $37.00 swim suits.  Some one better me making it to the Olympics. 

warning

warning: allowing chubby little feet to squirm around in the sand may make for a gritty night’s sleep hours later
 
warning: innocent looking tropical palm trees may drop palm fronds with no notice whatsoever.  if you aren’t injured by the falling frond, you may still sustain injuries if a boy child decides to create a palm frond sword
 
warning: allowing a little too much vitamin D synthesizing sun exposure in the afternoon may make for a little pink belly later
 

warning: sand showers (as pictured above) may imbed shell particles into the scalp that will require twenty to thirty shampoos to remove

warning: little boys will do anything big boys do, refer to previous warning

warning: burying ones self in the sand may encourage other children (particularly boy children) to jump on top of you while in this defenseless state
     
warning: photographing children who look like this may make you fall in love and become powerless and unable to say no to anything he should ask for (thank goodness he is still wordless)


warning: looking directly into the eyes of certain manipulative children can create a hypnotizing effect, controlling anyone who dares to engage in eye contact.  when seen posing like this all should avert their eyes

warning: allowing a family to spend the entire afternoon together on the beach may create far too many family memories for one person to ever hold onto causing happiness overload, melting hearts and aching smile muscles

you have been warned

a public service announcement brought to you by Erin, CEO of The Testosterone Adventures

happy new year

Christmas is over.  What a build up, buying gifts, wrapping gifts, the Christmas pageant, lots of Fed Ex packages to deliver and way too much Christmas candy to make.  We're all exhausted, a few pounds heavier and ready to move into the new year.  We're in the Christmas Detox phase now.

We celebrated at the beach last night.  Well, some of us celebrated and some of us waited in the hotel room for sleeping children to come back from the New Year's Eve bash.  One by one the children were returned to our hotel room.  Three people in one full size bed and four in the other.  One boy slept on a $5.00 blow up raft in the crack between the bed and the wall and another slept soundly on two soft chairs pushed together.  It was cramped, it was hot, it was sticky and sandy... IT WAS AWESOME. 

We spent time out on the beach in the late afternoon and caught a great dinner out on the patio in the dark.  We swam in the pool and the boys showed us their new swimming strokes (more about this in another blog).  Then it was back to the hotel room to catch WWE as some of us have certain priorities.  It seemed comical that the entire family including Scott's mom and dad were huddled around this small TV eagerly watching wrestling, some of us for the first time while Gavin excitedly explained all the rules and the wrestlers and WWE history.  Soon after that, most of the group headed back out to ring in the new year beach style.  From the sounds emanating from outside the paper thin hotel room door, there were fireworks (possibly being lit on the sidewalk about 6 inches from my door), loud music, dancing, noisemakers, possibly a fight or two and lots and lots of celebrating.  Kudos to Petey who usually sleeps alone in his man cave with his sound machine for being able to sleep next to me in a sandy bed with all the noise.

I woke up early and snuck out of the room trying not to wake and of the sleepy beasts.  I found my scrubs under a pair of wet swim trunks.  I got ready for work as quietly as possible.  Gavin was awake and was searching relentlessly for the bag of little Kit Kat candy bars leftover from our celebration last night.  I kissed him goodbye and slipped out into the early morning darkness. 

I was the only car on the road as I drove across the sleepy hungover island.  I silently made New Year's resolutions for our family as I headed for the hospital.  By 2012 more of us will be potty trained and more of us will be sleeping in our own beds, some of us might be running in a 5K, and some of us should be a little lighter.

Happy New Year!!!

oh come let us adore him

oh come let us adore him

oh come let us adore him

CHRIST the King.

and adore him we did for about 30 seconds...

and then he started to cry, was returned to his actual mother and was promptly replaced with a doll...

 

I sat in the pew quietly cheering for one very proud camel...

and one slightly embarrassed shepard...

After singing Silent Night, they filed back out and we celebrated...

another successful Christmas pageant with relatively few hitches...

and most importantly the birth of the baby who would change the world!

happy birthday tommy

Today is your birthday, one of your small brothers was a little impatient while I was decorating your cake

Today is your birthday, I watched several YouTube videos demonstrating how to properly frost a layer cake, I think I did OK

Today is your birthday I hope you don't mind the pink wrapping paper, ironically that is the only color I had

Today is your birthday, please don't argue with me about the number of candles on you cake, I realize there are actually nine and that you are only six

Today is you birthday and you didn't blow out any of your candles on your first try, I guess that means nine girlfriends, Hmmmm...

Today is your birthday, I hope you liked your surprise rainbow cake, it took me about three hours to make it and you enjoyed about three bites. 

growing like a weed

every morning he's a little heavier...

every month I'm making the car seat straps a little bigger...

every time I turn around he's outgrown his shoes again...

he's growing like a weed

I'm feeling a little queasy...

Since last Monday I (well, mostly Scott) have been doing load after load of puke laundry.  It started with one bad night last week when one said child went from bed to bed to bed throwing up each and every time I cleaned him up and tucked him into another bed.  The bug has been slowly traveling from one boy to the next despite my disinfecting and quarantining. 

For the last five or six days, vomit has managed to find its way into each and every day.  It's usually in the form of a small boy frantically telling me he needs his "choke bucket", a plastic toy bin that's been converted recently into the barf bucket.

Today was no different, it started out fairly normal for us.  I woke everyone up, sang happy birthday to Tommy (6 today) and told Tommy he could pick out whatever he wanted for breakfast.  Pancakes, omelets, scrambled eggs, you name it.  He chose what every six year old birthday king would... McDonalds.  I agreed only if everyone loaded up into the van right away.  Due to the freezing cold weather we had all been a little sluggish this morning and were running behind.  We raced to the van and loaded up.  The boys cheered as I scraped the frost off the window with my debit card.  Snow! Snow!  Snow!  No boys, that's called frost, sorry. 

We were off.  I hit the McDonalds drivethru and peeled back out onto the highway.  Traffic was thick and I was watching the clock.  I was facing forward and blindly handing sandwiches and hash browns behind me to cold little hands.  I snuck a bite of Tommy's McGriddle as I passed it back.  Soon I could hear Finn frantically looking for his choke bucket.  I dumped out the McDonalds bag and threw it at Tommy instructing him to hold it for Finn.  Apparently he wouldn't get his seat belt off fast enough and I saw eggs fly up from the backseat and stick on my radio.  At that very minute something in my esophagus reminded me that I have no business eating McGriddles since my lap band surgery.  I grabbed my Target bag with the Christmas photo cards (the very photo cards I will be sending some of you) in it and dumped them onto the pile of already dumped out McDonalds food.  I was attempting to aim for the bag and keep an eye on traffic and console a still retching Finn in the backseat when Gavin noticed me vomiting next to him in the front seat.  I guess the flying eggs had made him a little queasy and me gagging put him over the edge.  I made a snap decision and threw the Target bag his way.  Meanwhile, I threw up in my hand.  Gavin missed the Target bag for the most part and threw up on his multiplication homework.  Still deciding what to do with a handful of McGriddle I looked around for some options.  As I looked up, the car in front of me had stopped very quickly.  I slammed on the brakes loud enough to make a squealing noise.  Then suddenly, Finn's car seat flew 5 feet to the front seat.  He had been buckled into his car seat in the last row of the van seating.  Now he was upside down in a car seat turtle shell in the front seat.  In a traffic jam of sorts, I couldn't pull over immediately.  I consoled him best I could as I tried to get off the road as soon as possible. 

I pulled into a used car lot and uprighted him.  He appeared unharmed.  He was conscious and breathing fine, covered in vomit but breathing fine.  I replaced the car seat with him still attached, we are in a bit of a time crunch remember?  I raced back to the driver side and jumped in.  I handed out wipes to everyone and assessed the homework.  Not destroyed but splattered.  I wiped the homework and Gavin's tears.  Gavin was on the last problem and it happed to be the part of the homework that bore the brunt of the damage.  Only wet now from the baby wipes, I had no choice but to open up my window just far enough to stick my hand out (now 41 degrees out) and let the homework flap in the wind to air dry.  Most people would just turn on the heat but that gave out just after the AC went out.  Who am I kidding, this doesn't even happen to normal people.  I drove for the next 20 minutes with a numb hand. 

We were the last car allowed into the parent drop off line as I pulled my arm back in the window.  The answer is B Gavin, just fill in B.  With that, I slid the van door open and sent them off hoping they would have a better day.  I yelled Happy Birthday as Tommy skipped off to school unfazed. 

I was headed home when I remembered we needed to pickup beer and blueberries.  I'm not joking, this was our grocery list.  So I brought the boys to the grocery store.  Our family is the reason the store now has disinfectant wipes near the carts.  As we loaded up the van and I secured the children, the scavenging birds recognized my van.  They flew over and weren't shy as the hopped up into the van to see what they could find.  The boys squealed with delight as the birds hopped about eating bits of egg and hash brown.  I just sat there in amazement.  Was it weirder that birds were eating vomit or that they were eating their own unfertilized eggs?  Then I quickly realized that were we drawing a few onlookers and that I was the weird one here not the birds.

Christmas Letter

I spent the day yesterday designing my Christmas photo cards and writing my Christmas letter.  Today I will spend the day folding letters, addressing envelopes, and sticking stamps. 


Dear Family and Friends,


It’s that time again for the annual Christmas letter. I recently heard a morning radio show making fun of annual Christmas letters. There are people out there who despise the Christmas letter tradition. Who knew? Not me apparently. I hope that none of you make that list. If you do however, please disregard this lengthy letter from your southernmost relatives and have a happy holiday.

Now, for those of you still reading… I hope this finds you all in warm houses and in good health. 2010 has been interesting, but I predict 2011 will be the year of change. Scott will be transitioning into a new area at Fed Ex, I will be venturing into a new project at work, and for the first time in what seems to be forever, I am NOT pregnant with a little boy. Not pregnant at all for that matter. Without further ado, here is the latest from our noisy household.

I spent the year trudging through the nursing program and graduated (actually there’s a little more to it than that, but for all intensive purposes, I’m done). I went to school five days a week and worked the other two. It was an exhausting schedule that left little room to study and do optional tasks like laundry and dishes. I continue to work in the ICU but will be transitioning to a new job in February. I was nominated to work with a team on a new electronic medical record system that will be rolling out to all of our hospital campuses. I will be a credentialed trainer (or so my new job title says) on the clin doc team and will be training all of the hospital employees how to use the new computer system. Each nurse needs 24 hours of training to be competent, so I imagine the training is fairly intense. In an effort to make the training more tolerable, I’m already planning my standup comedy act that I will perform to my captive audience. I do take time out to play with the boys, blog and garden whenever I have the chance.

Scott continued to run his Fed Ex Ground route this year, but recently sold it in order to buy a Fed Ex Home delivery route. Lots of changes and politics over at Fed Ex Ground made this a better fit for us. He should be starting with Home Delivery (where Tom and Annette currently own routes) in January. It means better hours and more time with us. Scott has had to work extra hard this year to pick up the tasks that I no longer had time to do. He has always been a great help with housework and the kids, but this year has been extra hard. Most mornings, Scott would dress four sleeping boys (with the clothes he laid out for them) and tuck them into the van still sleeping. He could pack and unpack the diaper bag better than I could. He picked up all of the dishes and laundry and I still couldn’t tell you where we keep our mop these days or if we even own one. More and more I watch the boys gravitate toward him and bond over manly (I have no desire to join) activities. Last week they went to a WWE wrestling event (fight, match, show, whatever). Hmmm… no thanks, why don’t you just make it a boys night!

Gavin is my glorious eight year old now. I love love love eight year olds. He’s developing this really clever sense of humor which is such a change from the serious boy he’s been since birth. Gavin is thriving in school, mastering multiplication and leading his class in Accelerated Reader points. He loves school and socializing with friends. It’s important to look cool in third grade so he plans his outfits more carefully than the other boys. Gavin loves to skateboarding, scootering (what do you mean this isn’t a word? spell check must not be raising a house full of boys), and swim. He can also spend an entire afternoon on YouTube or with his nose buried in a chapter book. Did I mention I love eight year olds?!?

Six year olds, not so much. Tommy is still a challenge, although not my biggest challenge anymore. Tommy is either wonderful or horrible, the best or the worst. He never falls anywhere in between. When he’s wonderful, Tommy will be my best friend and offer to give me a back massage. He loves to cook with me in the kitchen and he will always try new foods. Tommy loves to help me in the garden. He spends a lot of time riding his bike and loves to socialize with anyone, preferably strangers. He’s my cheerleader when the two of us go jogging. Actually he rides his bike with a light strapped to his forehead and leads the way. “Great enthusiasm Mom, is that all the faster you can run though?” On the horrible side Tommy still stays at my side (he prefers the front seat in the van right next to me) so we can debate and argue and disagree. He spends a fair amount of his time in Time Out, doing punishment jobs and walking the last ¼ mile home while the rest of us ride in the van. He gets crabby and irritable and usually still falls asleep on the way home from school. Even though he can drive me crazy at home, his Kindergarten teacher loves him. Tommy loves school as well. He particularly likes hot lunch.

Finn is a little bit harder to appreciate these days. His speech isn’t growing as fast as he is and this has left him frustrated with the world, along with his stubbornness, persistence and determination. When Finn wants something, he wants it NOW. He won’t take no for an answer, ever. He also insists on being Petey’s manager. Finn holds Petey’s sippy cup and allows him a drink only when he feels necessary. Finn picks out what toys Petey will play with and takes them away without notice. He tells Petey where to sit, what to do and how to do it. When we walk in a store or in the library, he holds Petey’s hand and will not let me get too far ahead. It’s sweet that he cares so much, but it’s smothering for Petey. Sometimes, I will put Finn to bed and wake Petey up just so he can have some free play without his handler. Finn tries to run our household and doesn’t get discouraged when someone bigger than him wins a battle. Finn is a persistent little schemer that will stop at nothing to get his way. If any of you out there need a manager or an overbearing personal assistant for your small children he is available for loan. It’s a little tough to think of a great personality trait for Finn right now, I’m at a loss. He has nice hair? Does that count? Actually, it’s just like too much of a good personality trait. Finn’s caring, just too caring. He’s protective, just too protective, he’s determined, just too determined. All joking aside, we do love him sooooo much, the terrible twos and threes are just exhausting. I’m sure this will settle down and soon he’ll be able to express himself better as his speech improves, but until then, Lord, grant me patience please.

Petey is the child I’m most excited to wake up in the morning. Even though he’s pretty serious most of the time, he melts my heart. He’s pretty laid back and tolerant of most everything the bigger boys do to him. He’s a man of few words and is happy as long as he has his sipper cup and a snack. He spends most of his day trying to get away from Finn. Petey is my only boy who loves animals. He’s the only one that gets excited when the cat jumps up by us or when we see people walking dogs. He’s a huge eater and is willing to try anything. Petey finally started to walk at 15 months and has been unstoppable since then. He’s pretty easygoing but dislikes the camera, his car seat and Finn. Unfortunately, he spends a good portion of his day scowling (he even has scowling tan lines) because these things are a part of most of our days.

We all look forward to 2011 and the changes that are in the air. As usual, I have more ideas than time or money, but we all agree that this year we need to focus more on spending family time together. Look out; we could be visiting any one of you this year with our little troupe of gentlemen.

Until then,

Stay Warm, Stay Healthy and Stay in Touch,
Erin, Scott, Gavin, Tommy, Finn, and Petey