Not Me Monday

It's been way to long since I posted a "Not Me Monday" so here you go.

As a safety conscious mother of four small bite size boys, I'm always cautious. I would never drive my boys down into the heart of the Everglades just because we were bored and wanted a little excitement. I wouldn't dangle my small children in front of any wild hungry animals in the name of creating an unforgetable family memory. I'm a very cautious mother and wouldn't ever consider doing any of the following.

For starters, I would never pay money or walk through the gates of an establishment that refused refunds even if you were sucked of all your blood by a swarm of man eating mosquitoes. I simply wouldn't give a business like this my hard earned money.

I would never visit a highway tourist trap that kept caged alligators on one side and encouraged wild ones like this guy to swim up very near the tourists on the other side. It simply wouldn't be safe. I also didn't see this very same alligator climb up on shore and eat a bird. Yikes!!!

I would never support a business that actually felt it was necessary to post a sign like this. What is their typical customer like? What kind of guests would actually need this sign? Has this been a problem in the past? I would never associate my family with the type of people that need signs like these.

And I definitely wouldn't every send my small children and husband out into a fan boat full of those very same customers. Not to mention the fact that this boat is heading out into the everglades flooded prairies full of snakes and alligators. Like his mother, Gavin would never be excited if the driver illegally fed the alligators his wonder bread sandwich. We would never climb aboard a red neck vehicle like this.

Once again, what type of customers need a sign like this? Certainly not us. On a side note I would never consider teasing some of the animals just to see what they do. Poor self esteem? Attack? Retaliate? Makes me wonder.

I would never walk past a sign like this then do a u turn leaving the double stroller unattended in front of 30 hungry alligators just so I could take a picture. That would be a really bad idea not to mention completely irresponsible.

I also wouldn't ever stand back and snap a picture of Grandpa and Grandma while they walk a little to close to a wild alligator. I also wouldn't be thinking about what the alligator guide said regarding out running an alligator. "You don't have to run in zig zags or climb trees to get away, just make sure you're not the slowest one in the group." I'm definitely not trying to figure out if I could run faster than grandpa.

I wouldn't ever get suckered into paying money to watch the incredible alligator trainer and I would never be secretly waiting for "Charlie" to take a little bite out of her hand. That wouldn't be right.

As if watching wasn't dangerous enough, I would never volunteer my own son to hold the baby alligator. I also wouldn't be rude enough to comment that he felt like a purse. How insensitive!!

I certainly wouldn't give him a chance to eat something a little more bite size. I would also make sure my children Purelled immediately after touching this roadside alligator.

I would never be the annoying tourist that asked for a closer look at the alligators teeth. I certainly wouldn't encourage all the little boys to walk up and get a closer look. That would be very risky!

In the event that everyone survived the alligator tour and air boat ride I would never allow or pay for my family to take a guided swamp buggy tour through the swampy everglades.

I would never get excited when the guide explained that it was home to the black bear, python, water moccasin, and the alligator. I definitely wouldn't hope to see all of these very dangerous animals.

And finally in the event of shear disaster, I would never wonder quietly to myself how quickly these vultures could dispose of the evidence.