1, 2, 3 eyes on me

"Tootsie Roll... lollipop... you're all are talkin and need to stop"

One of Mrs Cliche's most popular phrases.  After waking, dressing, feeding and dropping off four of my very own children I drove to a daycare center at 7:30 this morning.  Part of the pediatric clinical section I'm making up at school is to spend the day at a childcare center.  I had the privilege of spending the day with 15 four year olds.

Mrs. Cliche introduced me:

"Class, this is Erin, she is our classroom visitor today.  We may not pull Erin's hair, put our hands in her pockets, touch her things, fight over her.   We may not kick, trip, or bite Erin.  There will be no arguing with her or shouting at her.  Erin is here to play with everyone and we will all take turns with her."

I was a little nervous to say the least. Did these children have a history of attacking visitors?  As soon as I sat down on the letter E in the alphabet rug I realized the warning was quite necessary.  I was mauled by several boys and one particularly aggressive girl. 

We started our morning by journaling about snakes.  I soon became the appointed snake expert and was required to answer things like, are pit vipers of rattle snakes more poisonous?  Have you ever been bit by a rat snake?  Are you afraid of snakes Miss Erin?  What is your favorite kind of snake Miss Erin?  Do rat snakes eat rats or look like rats?  I answered all of these as honestly as I could without conveying a negative image of the snakes.  I'm sure I wasn't supposed to say, I'm afraid of snakes and I don't have a favorite, I hate them all. 

Next it was time for breakfast, the children washed their hands for the 4th time and it was only 8:00.  I guess that's what happens when children are in a hospital ran daycare.  I felt compelled to scrub in again even though my hands were already raw and starting to chafe.  Poor kids.  Breakfast was uneventful with the exception of my aggressive best friend.  She took two extra pieces of toast but was allowed to keep them because she quickly took a bite out of them both before it was noticed.  Rewarded for breaking the rules, interesting.  All the children stared while she ate her three pieces of toast and pointed out the fact that she had three and they only had one.  I felt guilty by association.  One particularly bright boy pointed out that while she did get to eat three pieces of toast, now she had to eat three crusts,  Yuck.  Good point. 
I tried to loose her during free play.  I made a beeline for home living while she sat there scanning the room for me.  It wasn't long before I was spotted.  She flew over and attached herself to me once again.  Soon we were scolded for exceeding the capacity in the home living center.  Disciplined for breaking a rule that I didn't even know existed.  So typical, nothing changes.  This was a little distressing.  It wasn't the first rule I had broken today, but it was the first one I was called out on.  I felt like I was just another naughty four year old.  When a fight broke out about who was going to have to leave home living, I announced that I would be one of the people going and all seven others followed right behind me. 

I wandered over to the Lego table.  After carefully checking the maximum capacity I selected 3 chosen boys to build with me.  I started to build a big wall.  It was a precise pattern.  One red line along the bottom then a yellow and green checkered second row then a blue third row.  The boys tried to help.  As soon as they weren't looking I would have to quickly dismantle their less than perfect work.  Their complete disregard for my architectural plans and color scheme was insensitive to say the least.  I was just starting in on the fifth row of my most beautiful wall when Mrs. Cliche announced it was time to pick up.  I think I was just as ticked as the rest of the kids that we had to stop playing and move onto another activity.   C'mon Mrs. Cliche.  I felt like arguing but bit my tongue and instead rolled my eyes and made all the little boys laugh. 

Nest was circle time where I was invited to read a snake book to the children.  I was corrected when I pronounced the Spanish snake's name incorrectly.  Corrected by the class know it all, I was given lessons on rolling my R's properly.  Thank you Senor Know It All.  I was envisioning confronting him when a slightly more rude child interrupted me and made a general observation to the class,  "Miss Erin is soooooo big she can't even fit on our chairs."  I hope you have a weight problem later in life Mr, Scrawny.   And for the record, these chairs are designed for 40 pound children, not slightly larger women.  I turned the page and tried to regain control over the little beasts.  Luckily I made it through the rest of the book without and more needed corrections.  When it was time for me to review vocabulary words with them I was super tempted to call on the know it all when it was obvious that he didn't know the definition of the word Dawdle.  What's that?  Actual Factual doesn't even know what dawdle means?  How funny!  Instead I settled for not calling on him when he was raising his hand and waving it three inches from my face for every other question.  As for Mr Scrawny he didn't know what the word Dawdle was when I called on him.  I may be too big for the chair, but at least I'm super brilliant! 

After a loud lunch of pizza it was nap time.  I had a pretty tough time staying awake as I sang along with the lullaby CD playing in the dimly lit classroom.  I glanced up at the clock.  It was time to go.  I had survived.

After reflecting on my time in the classroom I am thankful that while I do have four children they are all different ages.  Too many at certain ages is far to much to handle.  I am also thankful that I never went into preschool education.  I would have never made it.  Four year olds are rude, bossy and gross.  However they are also pretty clever, imaginative and funny.   It was an interesting day and I did learn a few things that I will be sure to implement at home like 1. 2. 3 eyes on me and a few of the techniques Mrs Cliche used to keep order in the classroom. 

Thank you for allowing me to spend my day with a chaotic room full of four year olds and thank you even more that I don't actually have any four year olds at my own home right now.  I have had enough four year old action to last me until Finn becomes one.