Tommy has a hard time with the ride home from school. He's hot (the ac in the van is and has been out for quite some time), he's hungry and thirsty, tired and super irritable. I try to be consistent with snacks and cold drinks but we do live in FL and I'm in full time school myself and most honestly am a poor planner. Usually we do OK, but there are days when I fail to plan and Tommy lacks self control. This is a recipe for disaster. On those days he does OK as long as he's the center of attention and I ignore everyone else, this of course I refuse to do. The other boys deserve a turn to tell me about their days and ask me about mine. I make sure to give Tommy his fair share of my attention but then explain that we are all going to take turns and this is usually when things turn for the worse.
When Tommy starts talking back to me or his brothers, the most effective technique seems to be to get him out of the van. I pull over, open the van door and tell him he needs to get out. I shut all the doors and we wait. After a minute or two, I roll down my window and ask if he's ready to apologize and start over. He's usually sorry and ready to try again. I explain the rules again and let him back in. Some days, this can make for a long ride home. We've been known to pull over 2 or 3 times on a rough day.
The other day was one of these rough days. I tolerated things until we turned onto our road when he decided to push me over the edge. I pulled the van over, opened the automatic door and in barely a whisper explained that he needed to get out and could walk the rest of the way home. When I pulled into the driveway I glanced back without being noticed. There he was trudging along, head hanging. Good, I'd made my point. I unloaded the other boys while occasionally checking on Tommy.
Once I had all the other boys in the house, I slipped out the backdoor and hid behind the fence to spy on the unruly one. Now he was sitting on the side of the road taking his shoes off. Hmmmmm... Interesting. He started walking again. He would occasionally stop and shuffle the load he was carrying now. Walking barefoot I noted. As he got close, I slipped back into the house to avoid being noticed. Soon I heard the doorbell ring. I opened the door to a smiling very apologetic Tommy. After being forgiven and reminded why he had walked home, I allowed him to come inside. Before coming in, he presented me with a gift. He brought his hands out from behind his back to reveal his socks, stretched and bulging. Inside were some very nice rocks, a yellow flower and one lemon.
After that, he ate dinner, took a bath and went to bed (at 6:30). I threw away his destroyed socks and tucked him in and made a nice tall glass of ice water with lemon. Even though he's the most difficult to discipline, he is also by far the superior apologizer of all the boys. Rocks, flowers and lemons, every mom's favorite right?
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